


My Sweet Little Italian

by DaizNDust



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi, Other, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:40:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22011205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaizNDust/pseuds/DaizNDust
Summary: Starting a whole new life at college can be rough, but imagine if there was more to you than meets the eye. After the representation of Italy vanished years ago during a world war an eighteen-year-old college freshman discovers that she's the new embodiment of this beloved nation, whether she likes it or not.
Relationships: England/France (Hetalia), Female North Italy/Canada, Germany/Female North Italy (Hetalia), Germany/North Italy (Hetalia), South Italy/Spain (Hetalia)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. The New Age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feliciano is dead, everyone knows it but nobody wants to believe it. What happens however when a seemingly familiar figure catches Ludwig's eye and a college freshman gets too curious?

_Then_

A heavy silence seemed to fill the room as the two men stared at each other; the commander who stood in front of them bowed briefly and stepped out of the tent as the German sunk slowly into his chair, the smaller Japanese man just standing there with his widened gaze resting on the German. "Feliciano is…" Kiku started to whisper out, his hand resting his removed cap on the bench as a loud commotion caused the two to immediately look to the door of the tent. A red-headed Italian stormed into the room, eyes ablaze and being held back by a brown-haired Spaniard as he jabbed a fierce finger in the general direction of the German, unable to speak because of his anger.

"What is the meaning of this Ludwig?" the Spaniard instead exclaimed, Antonio's grip tight on the Italian as Ludwig stood up slowly with his eyes refusing to meet the Italians. Before Antonio could react the angered man broke free, taking a decorative vase that had been left on a tiny stand next to the door and hitting Ludwig across the head with it. The shattering and an abrupt gasp filled the room but Ludwig stood perfectly still, his eyes staring firmly at the Italians feet as his chest was hit multiple times by curled, angry fists. "YOU FUCKING POTATO LOVING BASTARD! WHERE IS FELICIANO?! I CAN'T FEEL HIS NATIONAL PRESENCE ANYMORE!"

Ludwig lifted his gaze and Kiku stepped forward, using the sheath of his sword to push the Italian away. "Violence will not help us solve the mystery of his disappearance Lovino." His voice no matter how soft, however, couldn't calm the violent outbursts Lovino had for the German.

"Like fucking hell it will! It's all your fault, Ludwig! Feliciano didn't want to take part in this fucking war and yet he did it for you!" Lovino cried out, his voice seeming to get quieter and quieter, anger rolling off him in waves as tears started to form in his eyes. "He didn't want this… now he's gone..."

"Lovi we don't know that… maybe the allies have him?" Antonio stepped forward to grab the Italians arm once more but was aggressively shoved away, Lovino shaking in anger as he turned and glared at Antonio. "YOU don't UNDERSTAND! I-I can't feel him…" He stared at his shaking hands, a few tears slipping down his face as he felt three sets of eyes staring into him. "We're brothers, we can feel each other's souls. We've always been able to do it, that's how we've always been able to make sure the other was okay... I've looked everywhere, stretched my outreach as far as it would go. You heard the officer, you heard…" He fell to his knees, pressing his hands to his chest as a shaking sob scored through him once more. "He's gone…"

"We just have to have hope-" Kiku began, lowering his sheath and faintly flinching as Lovino let out another wail in anguish.

"There is no hope! The hope died with him on that battlefield!"

Ludwig suddenly stood and walked around Lovino; the three other men in the room with him glancing up in surprise, Kiku even letting out a silent call to the German as he left the tent and walked through the camp. He passed many soldiers, a mass of them had moved closer to the tent upon hearing the yelling from inside but at that moment Ludwig didn't care.  
He didn't stop until he found himself in a quiet space, a small patch of green covered with clovers and softness. He removed his cap, falling to his knees slowly and covering his face with his hands as a sob left his lips. His other hand grasped the black cross hanging from around his neck, ripping it off the front of his uniform and whispering softly a prayer as another louder sound of anguish came from him. His fist, which grasped the cross, flung to the group and was soon starting to sting in pain from the piece of metal now impaled into his palm. His forehead came down and pressed against the ground, another angered cry coming from him as he cursed everything, everyone, even Feliciano himself for disappearing. Ludwig's anger, however, was soon washed away by harsh sobs and flowing tears as he collapsed into the clovers, hand letting go of the bloody cross who settled in the clovers beside him carefully.

Feliciano was gone...

* * *

_Now_

"You know, if they could not have us meet on the days all the students are moving in, that would be great. I mean, look at how many college freshmen there are outside! It's like a zoo out there!" The exasperated sigh of Alfred Jones exclaimed from one of the large windows of the meeting hall, some of the others had glanced up at the sound of his complaints and a few others approached to join him as they watched cars fill up the parking lots, college freshmen spilling out of cars with boxes and bags of their personal belongings.

Years had passed by and the building where the nationalities of the world did their famed business meetings, World Tower, was now surrounded by a modern-day college campus. The dorm buildings seemed to stalk up along the building, making days like this where people were moving in even more problematic for them.

"I don't mind, look at all the beautiful children down there, hoping to become well-educated and have a future! What a dream!" Francis exclaimed from his place next to the window, putting a hand on his heart as a touching gesture and smiling. "I wish I could be in college again, that was such a wild time! Ah, sweet memories-"

"I have my doubts about you going to college Francis." it was Arthur who responded next, glaring at Francis as he approached the window and took a look inside, his eyes squinting slightly to stare at the crowded parking lot. "If my car is robbed like last year I will have some strong words for the dean of this school!"

"Can we PLEASE get back to this meeting!" A gruff voice yelled over the bickering nations, Ludwig standing up and slamming a single fist on the table as the room quieted down slightly. His eyes focused on Kiku, the man calmly sitting beside Lovino and Antonio as they stared towards him in anticipation, his eyes then moved out towards the window and Alfred's voice struck up once more like an annoying car commercial. "Listen dude, I can't work on an empty stomach Ludwig! Can we please break for lunch? I'd like to get down to World Grille before the rest of the kids down there do!"

World Grille was a popular lunch destination for the countries; even Ludwig himself enjoyed some of the food they served every once in a while and judging by the missing lunch pail that usually sat beside him, Alfred knew Ludwig's only weakness at that moment.

"Fine. But please, don't patronize the incoming students." Ludwig announced with a sigh, fingers pinching his temple as the other nations stood and quietly discussed as they headed towards the doors. Kiku approached Ludwig, placing a hand on his arm and giving him a faint smile of encouragement. "Let's go as well, I can tell how hungry you are. I'm sure they'll have something good, I'm hoping they didn't get rid of the sushi after that incident last year…" He made a faint face which caused Ludwig to snort slightly in amusement, grabbing a few things from the table and pocketing his phone as he followed Kiku into the emptying hallway. Photos along the walls depicted many familiar faces to Ludwig and Kiku, the great Roman empire, Macedonia, Persia, Native America, Feliciano…

Feliciano's portrait caused Ludwig to slow to a stop, Kiku stopping a couple of feet away and turning to face him with a faint frown on his face. "I thought you were getting over him Ludwig, it's been nearly nineteen years…"  
"You cannot entirely forget someone like Feliciano Kiku, I thought you of all people would understand that. It's been hard, did you see how exhausted Lovino looked today? Running things for the entire country has been quite difficult for him." Ludwig seemed to ramble slightly, his gaze shifting towards Kiku as a calming hand was placed on his broad shoulder.

"Ludwig, you need to let him go. You'll spend the rest of your life an emotional wreck if you don't. Come, I'll pay for your lunch today." The smaller male tugged on Ludwig's arm as his gaze settled back on the portrait of Feliciano, eyes almost getting misty as he ran the back of his hand over the front of his face. "You're right, thank you Kiku. Let's go…

I just need to forget about him."

* * *

"I can't believe you convinced us to do that History seminar with you Rose, we missed the entire end of our summer!" The sound of her roommate's voice pulled Rosaline back from her daydream, her eyes turning and focusing on the skinny, short-haired Japanese girl beside her as another groan came from the girl on her other side. "Yeah Rose, the fact that you moved here is amaz- GHK! They got my order wrong again! I just wanted sweet potato fries! Not regular!" The girl started to complain, the blonde-haired German girl putting a hand to her hip and looking at Rose who just faintly smiled as a response.

"Just tell them Monika and hurry up! We're going to be late for our seminar if you don't, it's one of our last ones and you know how Doctor Armand will feel if we're late again!" The other girl responded and Rosaline lightly nudged her friend's shoulder to calm her. "Saki, relax, I'll take the fall this time okay? You know Doctor Armand loves me, we'll get off the hook without any trouble!" She gave them both a bright smile and took her plate of food once it was handed off to her, "I'll go find us a table! Don't kill each other while I'm gone!" Rosaline winked at her friends and quickly spun around, the grilled cheese and soup on her plate nearly covering her as she nearly stepped into a tall, buff man in a black suit. She recovered her plate without a spill, glancing up at the blonde-haired, blue-eyed male and gave him the richest smile she could muster with her exhausted expression. "Oh, sono così dispiaciuto _ *****_ sir, I didn't see you there!" She cheerfully told the man above her, her laugh wavering slightly at the hard look she got from him. A smaller Japanese man came from behind him holding a plate of sushi, he looked between the two and gave Rosaline an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry about him, he's in a mood today."

"Oh no, don't worry sir! Please have a wonderful day, both of you!" She ducked around the taller man, moving her way to the register as the man's eyes followed her. She heard whisperings behind her and simply shrugged as she brushed her auburn hair back behind her shoulder, letting the smile remain present on her face as she settled into a red chair.

She wasn't going to let some strange men bother her perfect day.

* * *

Kiku immediately nudged Ludwig back to focus once the girl was out of their sight, giving him a quizzical look as the German was brought immediately back to his senses. "What was that about Ludwig?"

"That girl who almost ran into me… doesn't she look familiar?" Ludwig murmured as both eyes glanced at the girl, her laugh could be heard from across the room as her two friends joined her at the table. Kiku seemed to stand there momentarily puzzled, shaking his head faintly and glancing towards Ludwig. "I don't understand what you mean…" he trailed off as his eyes lingered over to Lovino and Antonio, the two were just a few tables away from the girls. The uncanny resemblance between the girl and Lovino was striking, almost too striking to be a coincidence for the two for them. Kiku grew silent and Ludwig watched as the man turned, making his way over to the table with Antonio and Lovino, in turn, leaving the German to his own vices.

Ludwig closed his eyes briefly while rubbing his temple, he must have been just imagining things due to hunger. How could this girl resemble his Feliciano so much? It was near impossible, sure she had the same colored hair, the same laugh, the seemingly same nationality…

A pit was rising in his stomach as he took his food and walked over to his place at the table, his eyes never leaving the girl across the room. Antonio and Kiku got quiet as he sat down, both watching Ludwig as he sat with his food. Lovino, on the other hand, had an anxious look across his features which he brushed off once questioned by Antonio. "I-I just don't feel right… there's just this pit forming in my stomach. Must be this damned food."

"We all feel it, right?" Ludwig quietly asked as the other two nodded their heads, with one turn of his head he noticed that other nations were shifting almost uncomfortably in their seats as well. Even Alfred who was halfway into a large burger sat it down, looking almost sick. The only ones not reacting were the three students in the center of the room. He soon noticed, however, that Lovino seemed to be affected more to this feeling, the Italian soon laying his head on the table and closing his eyes tightly. One by one the other nations surrounding them left, food half-eaten and anxious looks on their faces as they headed back towards the World Tower.

Ludwig was one of the last ones, standing up and picking up his tray as a shot of long auburn hair was pulled past him by two giggling girls.

"Let's go Rosaline! We're going to be late!" One of the girls exclaimed as the red-head he had bumped into earlier, Rosaline, turned back and with soft brown eyes gave him a sideways glance... The look caused Ludwig to freeze, it was such a familiar look to him, the softness of the eyes, the warmness of the smile….

He shook his head and threw his uneaten food in the trash, he felt as sick as Lovino did now. He just wanted to go to his apartment and curl up in a tight ball with his German shepherds, to lay in the depressing self-loathing he had grown accustomed to since Feliciano had disappeared. His hand dug deep into his pockets and he brushed his hair back with the other as the feeling started to fade. No, he couldn't let his emotions take over again, he had to go back and lead this meeting.

Just a couple more hours, then he could go home.

* * *

"I didn't like the way that man was looking at you Rosaline." Saki was the first to speak as the three made their way towards their academic building, Monika who was on the other side wrapping her arms around Rosaline's arm in a tight, protective manner. "I agree with Saki, he was kind of creepy."

"He looked tired, he was one of the guys who come from the World Tower I think." She pointed a finger towards the building, suddenly frowning as she slowly stopped to a halt, the other two following in suit. "What is that building even for? I know students aren't allowed there but…"

"It's just office buildings I heard from the RA, but it's still fairly strange," Monika whispered as Saki shook her head and leaned against Rosaline lightly, nearly burying her head into her shoulders. "I heard it was the administration building for the school."

"We should go explore!" Rosaline announced, taking a few steps ahead of the others and turning around. "I know that we have class but you've heard Doctor Armand talk about that building, not even he knows what's in there!"

"Rosaline, babe, listen to yourself! It's not even the beginning of our freshman year and you want to break into a building?!" Monika walked forward and tried to put a hand on Rosaline's shoulder but was immediately brushed away by the red-head whose eyes were mostly focused on the building.

"I know we might get into trouble but… I feel like we should go there guys, there's like this feeling in my gut that says we should!"

"You said that about the roller coaster at Coney island that one time and ended up sick for an hour Rose," Saki commented in a flat tone, sighing out heavily as she felt Rosaline's gaze on her. No one could say no to Rosaline, especially when she gave the look. The look of pure sorrow, the look that could make a grown man bend to her will, Monika called it Rosaline's superpower but Saki thought of it as a curse. After a few more moments Saki lifted her hands in defeat, a groan escaping her as she walked towards Rosaline. "Monika you know I can't say no to her…"

"Come on guys! There's something special in this building!" Rosaline chirped, her arms reaching out and each hand clasping the returning hand of one of her hands. Her eyes shone as she stared up at the building and a large smile came across her features.

"Ladies, this is my destiny, I can feel it!"

_***I'm so sorry** _


	2. Discoveries

_Then_

" _Doitsu~! Oh Doitsu~!" A sweet shrill filled the once quiet air as Ludwig opened his eyes once more, his eyes blinked lightly in a confused gaze as the hazy figure of the Italian soon morphed above him, a large smile was spread across Feliciano's face as he peered down at Ludwig from behind the chair. "Whatcha doing Doitsu?"_

" _Oh. Italy. I was just reading this book that Japan gave me, some of his history I believe. Very fascinating."  
_" _You know we all agreed to use our human names from now on Doitsu! I'm Feliciano and Japan is Kiku! Besides, it looks more like you were sleeping rather than reading!" The Italian joked in return as his arms wrapped around the German's neck. Ludwig grew slightly flustered at the Italian's expression and immediately sat up, the book dropping to the ground in front of him. "M-My eyes were only closed for a moment It-Feliciano!"_

" _I'll keep this a secret Doitsu, if you take me for a walk through the park!" Ludwig watched as Feliciano circled the chair, picking up the book and placing it on the side table close to him. The look of mischievousness across Feliciano's face was one that Ludwig had grown accustomed to, but it still confused him at times with how persuasive the Italians expressions could actually be._

_Ludwig was about to answer Feliciano's request, stammering to find the words he needed as Feliciano lightly tapped his nose and bounced back. "Come on Doitsu! It will be fun! The grass is so green this time of the year and you've been working so hard these past couple of days~!"_

" _Why do you get to call me Doitsu, while I have to call you Feliciano?" Ludwig mused slightly from his seat but was surprised as the Italian leaned his head down, a playful finger running up Ludwig's chin as the smaller man giggled in delight at his own actions. "Because I think it sounds cute, not that Ludwig isn't a cute name, I like the sound that Doitsu gives."  
Ludwig didn't even have a moment to respond as the Italian twirled his way towards a glass door that connected Ludwig's study to the outside world, the large glass windows leading up to it letting in the warm sun that traced the Italian's path. Ludwig stood up just as Feliciano opened the door, a light breeze wafting in and rustling the Italian's hair as he turned to Ludwig, he lifted up a single finger and with a simple coo motioned him to follow._

 _Ludwig was about to Feliciano, almost the distance to reach out for the Italian's outstretched hand when he stopped, hearing a loud voice calling for him from behind.  
_" _Ludwig?" Ludwig's head turned around for a brief moment, turning back once Feliciano whispered his human name and a horrified gasp escaping from him as a bloody Feliciano stared back at him. This Feliciano stood stiffly, brown eyes widened as blood lightly trickled down his forehead from a gaping wound, while cuts seemed to cover his entire body. Ludwig stepped back in horror and fell to the ground, barely able to hear his own shout and sobs as he heard a loud shout from behind them once more._

" _LUDWIG!"_

* * *

_Now_

"LUDWIG!"  
Lovino's yell snapped Ludwig back to the present, his hand reaching up and pressing momentarily to his temple as his eyes wearily glanced at Lovino who stood a couple of feet away from him. The Italian looked very angry that he had fallen asleep but the angry gaze seemed to wash away upon seeing the weird look on Ludwig's face, he instead sat down the clicker he was using and his body carefully lowered itself into a chair. "You felt it too, I assume?"  
"I could feel that sensation as well earlier it was a strange sensation, like something was missing." Antonio cut in as well, setting his cup of water on the table as Kiku returned into the room looking almost visibly ill. He had excused himself a couple of minutes ago with complaints of a sour stomach, now he was back looking even worse than before. The four of them were in silence until Kiku took his seat and shook his head towards Ludwig's outstretched hand, refusing his help and wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Must have been some bad food-"

"Bullshit Kiku, we all know what this feeling is!" Lovino was the next to respond, seeming more irritated now than before. Ludwig had a feeling he knew why, the thought caused chills to run up his spine. "This feeling just keeps rising and rising in me, and we all know what it is! WHO it is!"  
"Lovino, we all must have had some bad water or something." Ludwig stood up and faced the smaller Italian, growing irritable as the moments ticked by. He didn't want to believe what he was feeling. He just wanted to get home as soon as he could so he wasn't crazy about Lovino's rantings holding up the meeting. "Feliciano is gone. That's final. Whatever you're feeling isn't what you think it is!"

"You stupid fucking bastard, you weren't as close to Feliciano as I was. You didn't share a fucking nation with him!" Lovino snatched up his bag, Antonio leaping up and about to rush after him as Lovino stopped in front of the door. "You never cared about my brother, hell you never even showed any emotion when he went missing-!"

The door swung open without any resistance and the three remaining nations leaped from their seats as Lovino slammed the door shut on the three intruders who had just toppled into the conference room.

"Spies!"

* * *

"We did it!" Rosaline's excited gasp came in the form of a silent whisper once they had rounded a corner, the guard's desk left behind and now a long hallway stretched out in front of them. Saki kept herself crouched down for a couple more seconds, a look of nervousness scored through her as Monika came up to Rosaline's side. "This is the craziest thing we've ever done! Let's just leave through the fire exit over there-"  
"Shhhhh!" Rosaline clamped a hand on Monika's mouth, watching with semi widened eyes as the small Japanese man she had seen in the World Grille earlier walked past them. He seemed pale, almost sickly looking as he walked past, pressing a hand against his stomach and walking to about the halfway mark in the hallway before disappearing behind a large wooden door. The three followed after he disappeared and looked up at the door, "What do you think is inside Monika?" Rosaline heard Saki whisper but shushed her immediately as she pressed her ear against the door, the other two following in suit. She could make out a few different voices, two, in particular, getting louder, was there a fight going on in that room?

When one of the voices got close to the door Saki nudged at Rosaline's sleeve, the girl barely having time to react as the door swung open from their weight and the three of them came crashing into the room. Rosaline shifted so that she wasn't squishing Saki against the floor, trying to nudge Monika off of her with her elbow as the door swung shut behind them and a voice cried out the word "Spies!"

Monika's weight was immediately rolled off of Rosaline as she felt a strong pair of hands grab her sides and lift her up, she gasped out and pushed slightly against the force as her eyes met the blue ones she had almost run into in the Grille. Her heart started to race, as she stared into those angry-looking eyes, the only thing she could fathom to do at that moment to protect herself was bring her hand up, striking the German's face with a simple slap.

* * *

Ludwig stared at the smaller girl he was holding up in near surprise now, the tingling on his cheek immediately reddening as a screech of laughter came from Lovino who had been helping up the blonde girl to his left. "Ooh she got you good Ludwig!" He laughed in delight as Kiku helped the other girl to his right to her feet. "P-Please don't hurt Rosaline, she didn't mean it!" The smaller girl squealed as Ludwig who looked back at the fuming girl he was holding up, her angry looking brown eyes looked so familiar that they almost hurt to see. Ludwig let her go, the girl tumbling to the ground and glaring up at him as he stood above her. "Who are you." He demanded as the girl got to her feet, crossing her arms right back at Ludwig as she raised an eyebrow at him.  
"Those are Saki and Monika, both first-year Anthropology students. I am Rosaline Vargas, first-year history and Italian double major. May I ask who the hell you are considering you just manhandled me grande figlio di puttana! ***** " The girl, Rosaline, snapped at him. Lovino's hoots of laughter mixed in with the other two girls concerned whispers at each other and Kiku's stammers of confusion made the situation even more hectic, Ludwig's head started to slightly swim as he struggled to find the words to respond to the situation.

It was Kiku who finally calmed down and pulled Ludwig away from the angry female, with the help of Antonio they pulled up three chairs and had the girls sit, the still irritated Rosaline resting herself in the middle of the other two nervous looking girls. On the other side of the table, Ludwig sat in between Kiku and Lovino, his eyes locked in with the girl who slapped him. There was silence for a couple more moments, as if no one knew what to say, before Rosaline spoke one more with a firm tone of voice.

* * *

"I'm going to ask you again. Who the hell are you and who gave you the right to pick me up like that." Rosaline demanded once more as her hand turned to a fist, she felt another rush of adrenaline and anger come to her that caused a shiver of frustration to race down her. How dare these men trap them in this room, how dare the blonde put his hands on her! She didn't even understand half of what was going on at that moment but anger had overridden the fear that was trying to surge through her, what was it that Grandpa had told her? Fake confidence was the best skill a girl could learn in these types of situations?

"My name is Ludwig Beilschmidt, may I ask you why you and your friends were listening in on our meeting?"

Rosaline kept her head held high and expression cool as she stared at the German, the longer she sat there, however, the more fear swelled inside of her. Usually, she never got this nervous about anything, at her college interview she hadn't even remotely been this nervous, why now all of a sudden? Why in front of this strange man?  
"We've been on this campus for a month now and we see people come in and out of this building daily, we wanted to explore and see what this building was exactly." Monika's voice responded for Rosaline, causing her head to turn slightly as Monika stared straight at the men in front of them. Rosaline could see the nervousness in Monika's eyes, the bouncing of her knee as well giving it away as her hand slowly wrapped around Rosaline's own clammy hand. Rosaline tried her best to comfort her friend as Saki bowed her head respectfully towards the men in front of them. "We're terribly sorry for disturbing your meeting."  
"Students are forbidden from coming into this building." The Japanese man beside Ludwig started calmly, "We will have to tell your school dean of course-"

"Tell them that I came by myself!" Rosaline stood up to everyone's surprise, leaning against the table and staring at the men in front of her with a huge deep breath. "I understand that this is a serious offense but this is all my fault, something drew me to this building, I don't know what. It was my decision to come in here, they just followed. If you are to charge any with trespassing blame it on me... unless you want to admit that three freshmen snuck past your high tech security at the front desk." A calm smile slid over her face as Monika dug an elbow into her side, she asked in a whisper what she was doing but Rosaline only waved her away as Ludwig stood up slowly, their eyes locked once more. She saw a look on his face that she didn't understand, one of recognition. The same look was on the face of the auburn-haired man beside Ludwig as well, all eyes were on Rosaline and she couldn't understand why.

"Come, I will lead you three out. Rosaline, expect to hear from the dean soon." A brown-haired male explained as he stood, introducing himself as Antonio briefly. As they walked out of the room Rosaline stopped and something urged her to look back into the room, her gaze resting on the man named Ludwig once more. "If you ever touch me like that again, it won't be pretty, Doitsu" she relayed quickly, head held high as heads snapped in her direction. Antonio stopped a few feet away and the others just stared at her, she lifted her hand briefly to her mouth and shook her head. "My apologies for that last word, gosh I haven't heard that word in years, my grandfather used to speak of someone with that nickname. I always assumed it was offensive to someone, decided to try it out." She turned her head away from the room and hurried after Antonio, both Saki and Monika waiting for her with frowns on their faces.

Antonio had taken them all to the front of the building, saying hello's to a few others who were in the hallway from their respective rooms as they approached the front. The guard apologized profusely as they tried to hurry the girls out, Rosaline stopping and looking back to Antonio once more as the guard tried to pull her out. "You know what that word means, don't you? I could see it in your expression. What does it mean? Ludwig looked… I don't know how to describe it-"  
"Germany, it means Germany." He interrupted before she could finish, smiling at Rosaline and waving to her as the three were kicked out of the building.

Rosaline stood there with Monika and Saki, both of them thanking her profusely as she turned and looked back up at the building. In one of the windows, she thought she could see the tall figure of the German, staring at her with his blazing blue eyes.  
"Let's go get our stuff moved into the new apartment huh?" Rosaline whispered as she took her friend's hands, turning away from the building and frowning as thoughts started to swarm her head.

What was that strange building? Who exactly was Ludwig Beilschmidt? Why did she not want to leave that room? And more importantly, why did her Grandfather always curse the country of Germany?

* * *

"Ludwig, Ludwig! You must calm down!" Kiku tried to reassure Ludwig, the German was visibly shaking as Lovino sat at the table, hands on his head. Antonio returned moments later, looking between the three and taking a deep breath. "The sensors were on, I asked the guard. No regular humans could come in without a national presence with them, that girl… Rosaline was her name… I don't understand..." Antonio spoke as he approached, putting a hand of Lovinos shoulder who glanced up slowly. "She had the dialect Ludwig, hell she shares my last fucking name... she… only Grandpa Rome and Feliciano used to call you Doitsu. I don't know how but…"  
"I'm going to the dean. I want to know EVERYTHING about Rosaline Vargas!" Ludwig exclaimed as he stood, Kiku's hand being the only thing preventing him from going any further.  
"Ludwig go home for the day, I'll talk to the dean about everything. I promise to report to you in the morning."  
Ludwig wanted to fight him, he wanted to do his own research but at that moment he felt so physically drained that he just simply nodded his head. He placed his bag on his shoulder and felt the eyes behind him bear into his back as he walked out of the room, a heavy burden continuing to pile on as he walked down the hallway and out of the building.

Once home Ludwig threw his bag on the ground, collapsing on the couch as he heard the sound of footsteps running into the living room.

Not now Gilbert…

"Ludwig! You're home early! I haven't even started dinner yet!" Gilbert yelled in delight as he fell onto Ludwig's exhausted frame, Ludwig grunting in protest and glaring up at Gilbert who sat there for a moment before standing with his hands in the air. "Hey Hey, what's gotten under your skin? Bad day? Wanna talk about it with your amazing older brother?"  
"I don't want to talk about it Gilbert, I'm going into my room. Don't bother with dinner, I'm not hungry."  
"Brother wait… Antonio texted me… If that girl-"  
"Drop it Gilbert!" Ludwig yelled out as he stood up, nearly knocking over the wooden side table as he made his way towards his bedroom, hands at his side as he opened his door. "I don't want to talk about it! Feliciano is not dead! I don't know who the fuck that girl is but she isn't my Italy!" He slammed the door on Gilbert's face, walking over and collapsing face-first onto his bed. Not even Noodles who jumped up on the bed beside him could calm him, the old German Shepherd whimpering and nudging him before giving up and moving his way back to his dog bed. Ludwig just laid there, tears forming as he stared at the familiar picture of him and Feliciano on his nightstand. He wanted to scream, he wanted to punch holes in the walls. He felt so conflicted, so frustrated.

Could it be? Did this girl mean that Feliciano was actually dead?

* * *

"Thank you so very much for letting us rent out of your house Mr. Jones!" Rosaline exclaimed as they walked through the doors of a large cottage, the front room they walked into was covered with dust and dirty windows, four doors scattered around the rooms assumingly leading into different parts of the house. The man who they knew as Mr. Jones stopped and laughed slightly as the three girls stepped inside, he didn't seem to be any older than they were with his sandy blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes that seemed to light up even more anytime someone looked into them.  
"I'm sorry it hasn't been cleaned in a while, I wasn't even going to put the listing up until your grandfather contacted me directly." He smiled at the confused looking Rosaline who sat her bags down and sighed out slightly. "My grandfather...? Well, that doesn't matter, I won't be needing a room for long…"  
"Why is that?" Mr. Jones looked confused as he leaned in the doorframe, Rosaline leaning against the plastic-covered couch and letting out a deep sigh. "I messed up..."  
"Rosaline snuck us into the World Tower building on campus and we interrupted some sketchy meeting! They're going to report Rosaline to the dean!" Saki was the one to interrupt, a troubled frown across her face as Mr. Jones cleared his throat and smiled. "I'm sure it won't be too severe, even if that is the case you are always welcome to stay here! You three seem trustworthy, just, I tend to host a lot of dinner parties so if anyone comes down and knocks don't let them in. No matter how attractive they are! I'll be in the house if you need me!" The man quickly turned and ran up the hill to the main house as the girls glanced at each other in confusion.

"Attractive?" Monika asked in amusement as Rosaline shook her head and pushed open one of the bedroom doors, these rooms were going to need a lot of touching up but they could handle it. "This house is perfect! Just the right size and the campus is just across the road from Mr. Jones's house!" Saki was the first to comment as she scurried into another bedroom, Monika took claim to hers right next to Saki's leaving Rosaline with the bedroom facing the house.

Once the other girls were content with their rooms Rosaline peered out of the window in her room, frowning as she watched Mr. Jones stare at the cottage from his deck, he seemed to be looking directly at the window before turning and disappearing into his house with his phone in his hand. She pulled away and leaned against the wall, slumping carefully onto the dusty ground beneath her with an exhausted sigh.

What the hell was going on around here?

***you great son of a bitch!**


	3. Clarity

_Then_

" _I cannot believe Grandpa Rome would miss again…" Feliciano's tear-filled voice broke the silence of the room, the Italian standing at Ludwig's front door with his eyes fixed on the long driveway ahead of him. Ludwig was finishing the final touches of icing on the Italian's birthday cake, the final golden center of a round, flower-filled cake completed as his gaze turned to rest on Feliciano. His heart hurt seeing the Italian so sad, seeing the tears run down Feliciano's cheeks as he wandered into the sitting room and slumped down onto a footrest. "He promised Ludwig… He said this year would be different, that he wouldn't be so busy…"_

_Ludwig was almost to Feliciano, reaching out to touch him when the Italian's dementor completely changed, the Italian swiping the book Ludwig had been reading off the coffee table with anger. "He always does this! Claims he will do something then doesn't even bother to keep his promises! What kind of a grandfather does that?! To his own grandson! Hell, even Lovino wouldn't come over!" Feliciano snapped, his body trembling with rage and hands shaped into fists as Ludwig got down on one knee in front of the trembling soul. The German was careful not to enrage the Italian, instead, he softly patted Feliciano's knee in response and waited patiently for the angry Italian to settle down._

" _Feliciano. You know Lovino has business to attend to today, you know he would be here if he could. As for your grandfather we both know how reliable he is, it's valid that your upset with him but destroying my sitting room won't do much to help your cause…"_

_Ludwig stood up slowly, placing a hand on Feliciano's head, making Feliciano look up towards him as he gave him a faint smile. "Now wipe those tears, I made you that damned marble cake and we're going to eat it. Maybe we can visit Kiku later and bring him a slice-" He was cut off my Feliciano standing up and hugging him, tight arms around him as Feliciano's face buried in his shoulder causing staining from his tears._

_Again, Ludwig heard a quiet voice call his name from the kitchen. Ludwig lifted his head and turned his attention to the kitchen, "Gilbert?" Ludwig called in confusion and turned his attention to the Italian in his arms once more, Feliciano starting to tremble. "Feliciano? What's the matter?"_

" _I'm sorry about your coffee table…" Feliciano lifted his now dull brown eyes, the blood trickling down his face and over his lips, which he licked off carefully. "I'm so sorry…"  
Ludwig let out a scream in terror, flinging the bloody Italian backward as he felt a set of hands grasp his shoulders from behind. "Feliciano!"_

* * *

_Now_

"FELICIANO!"

Ludwig's hand swung out, nearly nailing Gilbert across the face as the albino immediately jumped away from the swing. Ludwig sat up, grasping his chest and looking towards his brother who stared down towards him with a shocked expression. "Not Feliciano, sorry I woke you. Kiku is here." He explained as quickly as he could, backing towards the door slowly. Ludwig looked at his clock which read a quarter to ten, he must have fallen asleep. He rubbed his face and nodded his head slowly, petting Noodles who had wiggled herself onto the bed beside him. "Thank you brother, I'm sorry I nearly hit you. I had a bad dream." He murmured, not listening to Gilbert who replied with some snarky comment and vanished out the door. He pulled himself out of bed, taking a look at the dark circles under his eyes in a small mirror. He didn't know what these dreams meant, but each one shook him to the core.  
What was Feliciano trying to tell him?

After fixing his mess of hair and feeding Noodles Ludwig pulled on his robe and walked out into the front room, Gilbert was making breakfast and harassing Kiku who patiently sat waiting for him with his tea. It wasn't long before both noticed him, Kiku standing up in greeting to the German as Ludwig sat and sipped at the coffee Gilbert had made him. "I didn't realize you would still be asleep Ludwig, I can come back once you are more awake-"  
"Kiku. Please. What do you have?" Ludwig asked, still attempting to blink the sleep from his eyes as Kiku sipped his tea once more and set an open profile in front of him.

"Her name checks out, Rosaline Vargas, she's from Venice and transferred hereby request of her grandfather Roma Vargas. My guess is that the Grandfather is Ancient Rome, he transferred her here knowing that she would find the rest of us." Kiku quietly told him, "Lovino has been told all of this already as well…"

Gilbert was now approaching with a curious look on his face, red eyes darting between the exhausted-looking Ludwig and the nervous Kiku. "So she has no idea what she is yet?"

Ludwig just shook his head, sipping his coffee once more. "No, she does not. Put in a request with the dean, I want to speak with Rosaline again." he stood up, going to change into his day clothes when Gilbert's hand stopped him. "Alfred invited us all to a party at his place tonight, I don't want you to take a single step out of this house unless its to go to that party! This whole girl issue can wait until tomorrow, the party starts at seven." Gilbert ordered as Ludwig sighed heavily, he knew he could easily overthrow Gilbert's decision but Ludwig was just too weary to argue. "I guess it can wait…"  
"Great! I'm going over to Francis' and Antonio's to get ready! You better show up!" Gilbert dashed to the front door, grabbing his keys and waving a proper goodbye to Kiku before ducking out.

Ludwig's head hit the table as soon as Gilbert left and he could hear Kiku stand up quickly, the mans small hands rubbing his shoulders. "Why don't you take a nice bath? It will relax you." he murmured, guiding the German to his feet. Ludwig felt herded by Kiku to the bathroom, standing and waiting for Kiku as he ran the bath for him. He felt so tired and didn't once complain as Kiku poured multiple bottles of liquid into the tub. Once the small man was gone he sunk himself into the warm water without protest letting the out of control bubbles rise up to his nose.

Oh, what a fun time this shit show was going to be.

* * *

Rosaline felt herself sigh in relief as the front door was opened and the three of them wandered into their living room, the room had been transformed overnight into a habitable living space with boxes that still littered around the room in piles based on the owner. The three had just gotten back from their first day of classes, when they said this program was going to be rigorous they weren't kidding. Rosaline slumped over on the armchair, bag falling to the ground beside her while Monika joined her action by falling onto the couch a couple of feet away. "It's only the first day and I already wanna drop out…" Monika commented, Rosaline rolling her eyes faintly and giggling as Saki approached them with a letter in her grasp.

"Hey guys, this was on the floor. Mr. Jones must have slid it under the door. He's having a party tonight and has invited us to come up and help set up!" She read the note, holding it up to Rosaline who read it over once more.  
"We have that night class Saki remember? It goes until like eight o'clock!" Monika rose to her feet and Rosaline gave her a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry, I'll go up once I get dressed and you guys join us when you can." She peered at them from her armchair, the other two girls glancing at each other briefly. "Heard from the dean yet Rose?"

"Not yet. Maybe they didn't even bother, I hope they didn't, I'm actually starting to like my program." Rosaline stood up, waving the two off as she disappeared into her bedroom with a soft sigh. She hoped she wouldn't be kicked out, she didn't want to see how disappointed Grandpa got when she returned home empty-handed and kicked out of college.

After ten minutes she marched up the hill in a pair a converse, hair pulled back in a ponytail with her hands buried in her shorts pockets. She knocked on the screen window, Mr. Jones immediately turning from the man he was taking with and letting her in without hesitation. "Rosaline, thanks for coming to help out. This is my good friend Arthur, he's here to help out too." Rosaline's eyes lifted towards a harsh set of green ones, both sets of eyes remaining in contact for a short period of time before Arthur stuck out a hand. "A pleasure…"

"Matthew should be around soon, Francis is arriving with his friends so they'll probably be late…" Alfred recounted these names out loud, moving back to his pressing of burgers at the counter as Rosaline walked around Arthur's uncomfortable stare to join him. "Here. You can help me Rosaline." Alfred's cold hands guided hers towards the meat once she had returned from washing her hands, she made a faint face at the raw meat and squeaked once a small ball of it was plopped into her grasp. "Press the meat into burgers and put them on the tray!"

Rosaline glanced up at him before starting her assigned job, hands careful not to crush the meat too hard as she piled them up. After about twenty or so burgers she was stopped by Alfred's laugh, "Woah! You work fast! Thanks!"

"It's no problem, Mr. Jones-"

"Please, just call me Alfred. Mr. Jones is my father!"

She heard Arthur behind her snort from around his tea, she turned her head towards him and cocked an eyebrow. "I'm guessing you're Mr. Jones?"

Arthur nearly spit out his tea as Alfred near fell to the floor, howling in laughter as Arthur stood. "I am not! I'll have you know I am a Kirkland, a proud family that strings from the royal family of England themselves!" His voice wavered, Alfred standing up and patting Rosaline's shoulder while wiping tears. "I like you kid." He stated, looking up as he heard the front door crash open and two drunk voices howling into the home.

"THE PARTY HAS ARRIVED~!" One of the voices yelled from the entryway, both Arthur and Rosaline sharing a momentarily glance of dismay.

The party was now beginning.

* * *

Ludwig turned off his car and flicked off his headlights, glancing at Kiku who gave him a small smile. Lovino and Antonio were already there, waiting for them in the driveway behind Antonio's car. "I don't want to go to this Kiku" The German stated once more, both of them sharing a glance as Kiku shook his head. "It's Alfred's first bash of the season, after this, we can skip all of them we want. You know that Alfred will get upset if we don't come, we will stay and eat a few things before we leave."

He still groaned slightly in protest as he pulled his hair back, rubbing the black cross around his neck once as he swung himself out of the car. Antonio greeted them with a bright smile, dressed in a tee-shirt and shorts with Lovino almost perfectly matching beside him. "I'm glad you both came! It's much quieter out back, Alfred said he has dancing and loud music going on inside."

"Thanks, Antonio, I don't think we will stay very long." Ludwig gave him a brief smile, rubbing the side of his face momentarily in thought. "Maybe get some food, say hi to my brother and finally leave."

Ludwig didn't want to be here, he hated coming to events like this, he felt awkward and boring. He knew Kiku felt the same way, but Kiku had many more friends than him to keep him occupied so it never bothered him. Ludwig always ended up in the corner alone, sipping whatever shitty beer Alfred had bought and left early to go back to his quiet sanctuary to await his drunken brother's arrival home.

The backyard was fairly quieter but he could still hear the loud music coming from inside, regular homebodies like Roderich and Tino littered the yard mingling amongst each other while snacking on the food Alfred had provided. Ludwig talked briefly with the others, sipping on a shitty light beer and chuckling at a few jokes before he moved his way back to Kiku's side.  
"Is someone renting Alfred's carriage house over there?" Kiku commented, Ludwig, looking down to see a few lights on in the smaller house, the once barren house now decorated with flowers and other cutesy things.  
"Ah, Alfred is renting it out to some college kids from the campus next door. One of them is here at the party actually, the other two will be joining later. I can't remember her name… I think she's inside dancing right now." Yao responded and pointed up to the house, "Why can't I remember her name? Rose? Something along-"  
"Rosaline?!" Ludwig immediately turned his attention to Yao, the Chinese man immediately nodding his head a few times. "Yes yes! Rosaline! Such a sweet girl, she helped Alfred set up earlier and-"

Ludwig didn't listen to the rest of what Yao was saying, he made his way up the yard and hurried up the stairs of Alfred's patio. Kiku was hot on his heels, Ludwig thought he could hear him saying something but wasn't paying attention as he threw open the sliding door and fought his way through Alfred's kitchen.

She was in the center of the living room, colorful lights flickered around her as she danced hypnotically to very loud music with Gilbert. The song was 'Everything Black' by Unlike Pluto, her hips moving with Gilberts with every lift and drop within the song. Ludwig couldn't help but stop and stare momentarily at the way she moved, the way she danced. God he could remember Feliciano used to do the same, seductive twist of his hips when he danced…

Kiku's hand caused Ludwig to snap back to normal, he looked down at the smaller man for a moment before looking up and realizing Rosaline was gone. He stepped more into the room and glanced around as Gilbert stumbled towards him, "Ludwiggggg! Did you see that hot girl I was dancing with?! Damn, she's amazing!"  
"Yeah Gilbert, that was Rosaline. Where did she go?" He tried to glance around Gilbert but was prevented from doing so, the feeling of urgency rising within his chest.

"I dunno, she turned and went deeper into the house, maybe she went outside? Who knows?!" He laughed and Ludwig gritted his teeth as a wave of anger rushed through him, he lightly shoved his brother away and continued to push through the sea of nations, almost desperate to find the little Italian girl he had just watched dance.

* * *

Rosaline excused herself from Gilbert once she saw Ludwig and Kiku walk in, she ducked behind a few men standing awkwardly to the side and made her way outside once the two had walked past. Her heart was beating fast and she was starting to panic, why were they at Alfred's party?! Were they here to take her away or something?!

She rushed down the hill and into her house, closing and locking the door with a few heavy breaths. She turned to go into her room and nearly screamed when she saw a familiar-looking Italian sitting on her bed, facing the door with a somber look on his face. She covered her heart, trying to calm herself as Lovino stood up slowly. "Sorry for scaring you like that, once Ludwig knew you were at the party he had to go find you."

"Why are you in my room?! Why are you all even at this party?! How do you know Alfred?!" Rosaline demanded, glancing around the room quickly and squeaking when Lovino gently took her hands within his own.

"I'm not here to harm you or anything, I just want to talk. Roma Vargas is your grandfather right?"

Rosaline froze, her eyes widening slightly as she slowly nodded her head. She moved towards the couch with Lovino following after her. "My name is Lovino Vargas, I am his grandson similar to you. There is more to us than meets the eye, however..."

Rosaline's heart started to beat quickly as her eyes followed Lovino as he collapsed onto the couch. He rubbed the side of his neck, staring at the ground and letting out a heavy sigh. "There are people in this world who bear the essence of each nation, some have been around for centuries, others for only years now. Every single time a new nation is formed, whether from scratch or not, a child is born or selected. They keep an eye on the country, if there is a major war it is most likely two of the country representatives fighting. You are one of these representatives Rosaline, I don't know if you were born for this or chosen by Grandpa Rome, but you're a nation."

The room grew silent as Rosaline stared at Lovino, wide-eyed in wonder with her hand carefully lifting so that she could examine herself. "I'm a nation… How?!" She demanded, her other hand grasping Lovino's as he shrugged his shoulders.

"It makes sense that you are, Ancient Rome chose you, raised you, and gave you the ability. I can physically feel you within me now, I wasn't able to feel anything like that until now."

Rosaline stood up, holding her head as she started to pace. "So Ludwig and them-"

"Nations."

"Alfred, Arthur, the rest of the people at that party?!"

"Nations as well. Each and every one of them. Some more recognized than others." Rosaline felt his gaze on her but she didn't care, tears started forming in her gaze. "I'm supposed to be a normal college student, I'm supposed to get my degree and go home to Grandpa. I can't run a nation! I'm not even able to legally drink here yet!" She sat back down next to Lovino who carefully started to rub her back.  
"You would continue your studies here, of course, you'd just be doing some extra things on the side. Like going to meetings, similar to the one you interrupted."

"Why doesn't humanity know about this?! About us!" She demanded, "Why haven't I heard of this before?!"  
"Because when they found out the first time they were scared, nations are immortal Rosaline, the day you turn twenty one you stop aging forever," Lovino explained as Rosaline wiped her tears. "They thought of us as freaks of nature, something to fear..."

"What if I don't want to live forever?! Did Grandpa ever think of that?! Why didn't he tell me from the beginning!"

"He wanted you to discover this, discover us on your own. You have to choose your own fate, Rosaline, you have to make the decision on whether you want to become involved in this, in that." Lovino's hand swept towards the door where they could faintly hear the party going on in full swing, Rosaline glancing towards the door once more as Lovino made a face. "It will get annoying, trust me. But it's not all bad."

She watched patiently as Lovino stood, taking off a cross around his neck and placing it around her own. Her hand raising to touch it as he walked towards the door, "I can't force you to do anything, if you want to join us we have a meeting tomorrow at noon. The same room that you found us in yesterday. Good Night Rosaline. Choose wisely." he unlocked the door and opened it, giving her a smile as he walked out.

Rosaline walked over to the door quickly, locking it and carefully looking down to the cross around her neck. On the back read the name, "Feliciano Vargas: Northern Italy", who she believed was her predecessor.

Was she really going to do this?

She stumbled into the bathroom, splashing cold water onto her face and staring at her tear-stained cheeks in the mirror.

Was she really going to live forever?

She grabbed at her hair, tears streaming down her face as loud sobs escaped from her. She fell to the floor and leaned against the wall, grabbing hold on the towels hanging there from someone's earlier shower.

Was she ready to give up her life for something she hardly knew?

* * *

The room was quiet as everyone settled into their normal seats, Antonio and Lovino bickered quietly about something unknown to the rest, Kiku making his usual cup of tea, Ludwig saying his usual greeting and sitting carefully in his usual chair. Ludwig went to say something to Kiku but everything stopped when the doors swung open, all eyes landed on Rosaline as she stepped inside. The girl placed her backpack on the ground beside her, crossing her arms with a cock of her head as she glanced towards Lovino, who gave her a half-smile. The black cross prominently around her neck as she gave the others a dazzling smile, Ludwig staring quietly at her their eyes locked.

"My name is Rosaline Vargas, I guess I'm your new representation of Northern Italy."


	4. Recognition

_Then_

_Ludwig didn't want to, but the Italian standing beside him had begged to meet his brother. Feliciano had declared that the idea of him not having met the Germans brother was unacceptable, pestering Ludwig until he finally relented to the request._

_The two were standing in front of Gilbert's apartment, Feliciano hugging his arm and smiling brightly as Ludwig sighed and half glanced down at him. "You know it looks like we're dating right? I thought we were waiting until you told Lovino, you know Gilbert is friends with Antonio, right?"  
_ " _I know I know, I just like hugging your arm Doitsu. It makes me feel safe~!" Feliciano murmured, his finger tracing Ludwig's arm causing a soft sigh of comfort to escape from him._

_The sound of a deadbolt came from the door and Ludwig stiffened up, pulling his arm away from him as the door swung open quickly and a smiling albino came into the doorway. He could tell Feliciano wasn't very happy with how tense he was being, but at that moment he could only focus on his older brother squeezing him to death in front of him, his breath reeking of nothing but alcohol. "Ludwig! God, you never come to visit me!" Gilbert declared, his drunken gaze darting from Ludwig to Feliciano with a cocked eyebrow. "Who is this?"_

" _Well, this is, ah... Feliciano this is my brother Gilbert.." Ludwig announced, lifting his hand delicately towards Feliciano who giggled and sweetly held up his hand. "It's an honor, I've heard so much about you…"  
_ " _Wow Lud, first Roderich and now this pansy?" Gilbert asked, completely shutting up Feliciano and causing Ludwig to glance back at his brother in pure shock. Feliciano let go of Gilbert's hand, lowering it and averting his gaze from the Prussian man as Ludwig shoved his brother back. "How. DARE. YOU!" Ludwig immediately demanded, grabbing the front of Gilbert's shirt and holding the smaller man up towards his face. "How dare you speak about Feliciano like that!"_

" _Listen, Lil bro, I've heard stories about this kid's brother, you definitely got the shittier deal by sticking with him," Gilbert responded as Ludwig threw his brother away. Feliciano called out Ludwig's name but the German couldn't hear him as he angrily followed Gilbert who was scrambling away from Ludwig, how dare his brother immediately assume that much about Feliciano. How dare he call Feliciano such names! Feliciano wasn't a pansy, he was the strongest man he knew!_

_Gilbert stood up and before Ludwig could take a swing at his brother there was a loud sound, one that Ludwig had heard multiple times within his life, not casually but mainly on the battlefield. His head swung around and he hurried towards Feliciano who had crumbled to the ground, holding his bleeding chest. Ludwig ducked down to help Feliciano but immediately jumped back when blood started to pour from Feliciano's mouth, tears forming in his eyes as a soft whisper filled his ears._

" _Ludwig? Ludwig?"_

* * *

_Now_

"Ludwig? Ludwig?"

Ludwig jolted upright in the car, his gaze darting around and glancing down at the smaller Italian girl beside him. Rosaline had a notebook open and was doing some work on their way to the World Summit, most likely some studying based on the scribblings in multiple pen colors she had on the well-used pages. She looked concerned, her blue pen tucked behind her ear and an eyebrow cocked quizzically as she stared up at him.

It had been nearly two months since Rosaline had talked with Lovino and since then she had gone to every single meeting that they had dutifully, it was decided last minute that she would announce her presence to the other nations at the monthly world summit in London, hopefully, to get her recognition approval. After boarding a non-stop flight to England Ludwig, Rosaline, and Kiku were heading mighty quickly towards the Churchhill Conference Room in the back of a short limo, both Ludwig and Kiku were dressed in black suits while Rosaline was dressed in a skirt and a nice blouse. Ludwig was excited that she was going with them and all but he was also extremely nervous, he wondered briefly in his mind how certain nations would react towards her as he fiddled with his fingers absentmindedly.

"We're getting close according to Kiku, also you were twitching in your sleep, I thought you were having a bad dream." He watched Rosaline pulled up her backpack, stuffing her notebook within as he rubbed the side of his face, giving her a half-smile and chuckling.

She wasn't wrong though, his dreams about Feliciano dying were starting to bother him. What was Feliciano trying to tell him from the beyond? Was it him imagining everything? Survivors guilt from the war?

Why were these dreams starting to appear now? Did Rosaline's presence now cause all of this, and if so, why?

"Are you sleeping alright, Ludwig?" This time it was Kiku who caught Ludwig's attention, the German perking up from his thoughts and immediately nodding as his answer though Rosaline still scowled beside him. He knew she didn't believe him, the bags under his eyes proved it, but Kiku still held his tongue and Ludwig adjusted his tie once more. "Hopefully this will go quickly and painlessly, a lot of the nations have met you already so there should be no problem having you at the meeting."

"Oh, alright. Why would they have a problem with me?" He felt a small sense of dread at the question, his blue eyes immediately looking out the window and immediately cleared his throat. "No reason… we are here! Remember Rosaline, smile, be polite, and please try not to start any wars..."

* * *

"Don't start any wars, Rosaline, we don't want any trouble, Rosaline..." Rosaline growled in a mocking tone as she slipped out of the limo, flattening her skirt down and throwing her bag over her shoulder as she felt Kiku's gentle hand grasp her shoulder. "Don't take it personally, some of these nations are trigger happy, trust me. Now come, the meeting is about to begin."

Though Rosaline was still fuming about Ludwig's statement as she walked inside the conference room what she saw caused her to immediately stop, her mouth becoming agape as she stared. Within the center of the room was a table, a table larger than any table she had ever sat at in her life, over 195 chairs lined the table with little name tags in front of each space. Above the table was a ginormous chandelier, made of crystals, diamonds, and gold that glittered with the natural light coming from giant windows that lined the entire room. People were starting to notice her now, whispers floating about as she hurried after her group.

Lovino was already in his seat, he looked up to her and gave her a brief smile as he held up the tag for Northern Italy. "You ready? All we have to do is get you fully recognized by these idiots and then we can get started with business." he murmured to her as she slid into the chair beside him, she put on her name tag and glanced up when she felt a hand briefly on her shoulder. "Alfred!"  
"Rosaline? What are you doing here?" Alfred looked fairly confused as he stared down at her, blue eyes brimming with questions and anxiety. He looked like he was about to question her further but the shout from Ludwig for everyone to become seated caused him to turn and walk off to his own chair, the meeting was about to begin!

"Before we get this meeting started a few housekeeping rules; Francis no heavy drinking or brawling with Arthur…" Rosaline glanced across the table to a blonde man who made a face while he sipped his wine, he caught her gaze and winked causing Rosaline to blush lightly and turn away.

"Ivan, any and all weapons MUST be kept in the hallway…" A tall, intimidating looking man stood a couple of chairs from the Frenchman, walking towards the hallway while removing a lot of things from his coat that Rosaline couldn't see but knew she didn't want to see.

"No attempting to sell anything to anyone. This includes food, beauty products, anything. Yao, I'm looking at you." Rosaline remembered Yao from the party, watching as the Chinese man shot Ludwig a nasty glare from beside the empty chair Ivan had once sat in. "I try to sell my chocolates just once and you get offended! Unacceptable!"  
Ludwig seemed to ignore him, causing a small snicker from Rosaline as he continued on. "Let's be civil gents… and ladies. Alright, now that we got that out of the way-"

"Ludwig. Can you explain to the rest of the group why the Axis Powers has brought a human to this meeting?" Arthur was the first to pipe up, his eyes obviously staring down Rosaline who met his gaze back with a beating heart. Her gaze flickered to Ludwig who had briefly caught it before looking back to the table of nations. "That is the first order of business. This is Rosaline Vargas and we must do a vote of recognition for her to be the new representative of Northern Italy."

A minor uproar came from the other nations, Rosaline digging her nails into her thigh underneath the table as Arthur immediately stood up. "She? A nation? Ludwig, you are INSANE! She is a college student! A mere human!"  
"Arthur!" Alfred pulled the other man down, his eyes continuing to stare her down as he gave her a small smile. "Let her plead her case."

Rosaline's eyes widened, her head snapping to Ludwig, plead her case?! She had to plead to become a nation?! What kind of fresh hell is this?!

She stood up, taking a shaky breath as her eyes glanced up and down the large table and the hundreds of pairs of eyes staring towards her. "It is true, my name is Rosaline Vargas and I am the next representative of Northern Italy… uh, I…" She stammered over her words but was immediately shut up by a certain Frenchman who stood up. "She cannot even defend her case, how can this silly little girl defend her country? Leave it to Lovino, he knows what he's doing!"  
"Shut up you fucking frog!" Lovino hissed as he stood, immediately slamming a fist on the table that was restrained by Antonio who held him back from launching himself at Francis. Nations started to yell back and forth, some for and some against the notion of Rosaline become a nation. It was pure chaos.

Rosaline just stared for a few moments at Francis, her once nervous gaze becoming one of smoldering hatred and anger. She could feel Kiku's hand trying to pull her down but her fist hit the table and a loud "SHUT UP!" echoed from her causing everyone, even Ludwig to stop and stare at her. She pushed her chair back, walking up to the head of the table where Ludwig immediately backed off. She grabbed hold of the podium and jabbed a finger in Francis' direction.  
"I am NOT some silly little fucking girl, I'm not some nieve human who wants to play some sick game of god for a day. I was _CHOSEN_ by Ancient Rome himself for this task, _RAISED_ by him to rise up to my duties. This is still all strange to me so I'm fucking sorry if I can't automatically say what I'm feeling at this moment, or that I don't have anything planned because I honestly don't know what the fuck I'm doing. "I may not be knowledgeable about trade or negotiations as you all are, it's a fault of mine and I'm aware. But you better sit the fuck back down Francis Bonnefoy if you believe that I can't do this fucking job because I am a "silly little girl"! Or because you believe I am a human! Because this silly little fucking girl isn't afraid to start a war on your fucking ass, and we all know how that has gone for France in recent years now do we."

The room got silent as they stared at Rosaline, both Ludwig and Francis were pale to the face as Rosaline took a deep breath and smiled towards the other nations. "I guess you could call that my case, thank you."

* * *

The color had drained from Ludwig's face as he stared at Rosaline in pure astonishment, the girl had walked away from the podium and was now perched back again next to her brother.

The last time someone had given that kind of an argumentative speech a world war was started, and the last thing they needed at that moment was another war.

He cleared his throat to speak, to get rid of the dangerous silence when laughter erupted from none other than Francis himself. The Frenchman nearly fell over his chair, wiping away tears as he smiled across the table at the Italian girl. "I haven't been told off that hard in years, not even Arthur's useless threats have caused me that much fear in such a long time! She has the soul and the language of a true Italian, Rosaline, I have truly underestimated you and your abilities. Please accept my deepest apologies, my love. You have my vote to be recognized, we need more spirit and feistiness like you in these parts. "

A murmur of approval rang through the other nations, Ludwig looking along the table in almost near shock as he met Rosaline's determined-looking gaze from where she stood, holding her brother's hand firmly. His heart skipped a beat, a smile slowly forming on his face as he gazed over the sea of nations. "Alright then, so we all know how this is done. We will have a show of hands whether or not Rosaline be added among our ranks. Please, raise your hand if you'd like her to be completely recognized as a nation."

Ludwig's heart swelled in delight as one by one nations raised their hands in favor of Rosaline, there were a few hands that were not raised near the end of the table but the majority had ruled. Rosaline was fully recognized as a nation.

"Perfect. Welcome to our ranks, Rosaline. Now we can get started with our meeting, finally…"

By the end of the reception, Rosaline was absolutely exhausted, she had introduced herself and shook hands with nearly every nation in attendance that day. Francis had come up to her after the summit was over and she did apologize briefly for threatening war against him but the Frenchman only laughed, having her promise him a coffee date or two once they returned home from the summit.

She was happy to see Alfred who ran up and swung her around with laughs of pure joy, he seemed more excited than she did that she was a nation before scolding her for not telling him sooner. "I knew there was something different about you the moment you walked into my house, I should have known the secret was this!" He declared to her, both having their arms wrapped around each other as she noticed Ludwig approach them from behind. She let go of Alfred, promising briefly to talk with him more once they were home before walking to Ludwig with a faint smile on her face. "Listen, I know you said not to start any wars but I think it worked out great huh?"

"That was the most reckless thing you could have ever done… but I'm proud of you for being so bold in front of them, sometimes they need a slap in the face like that…" Ludwig gave her a half smile and Rosaline squealed in delight as she wrapped her arms around Ludwig's neck.

"Thanks, Ludwig, it means a lot of me to hear you say that, considering nearly a month ago I cursed in your face into the dust and slapped you. Sorry for that by the way…" She gave him a small smile and looked over as Lovino called her name. "Goodness! I almost forgot! We were going to go out for lunch, wanna join us, Ludwig?" She immediately demanded, grabbing his hand and pulling him along with a laugh escaping from her. "Now that we're in England I can legally drink and boy am I excited!"

She could feel Ludwig's gaze as he followed, it burned into her back and caused the faint blush to continue across her cheeks as she let him go, launching herself into Lovino's arms and causing him to complain loudly. Rosaline couldn't be happier at that moment, she was surrounded by the people she admired and was staring to care for. Nothing could change that.

* * *

The plane ride back had been fairly peaceful, Arthur had arranged them with a private jet in order for them to avoid the crazy international flights which Rosaline was grateful for, he called it a welcoming gift and another apology on behalf of Francis.

The ride home was uneventful but the moment she reached soil she knew she was in trouble, only being gone for two days Rosaline hadn't had even thought of getting phone service while abroad but once home her phone was flooded by texts, voicemails, and missed calls from both Monika and Saki.

She cursed herself slightly but pocketed her phone when Ludwig called her to the car, she would see them within a couple of hours, how bad was it if they waited a few more hours?

Once back at the house she knew she had fucked up, while Saki came over and immediately hugged her it was Monika who stood up, glaring daggers at Rosaline. "You fucking leave the country for two days and decide not to tell us?!"

"How did you…"

"We saw Mr. Jones had returned, we voiced our concern and he said you went to some meeting for your major in England?! Rosaline, were you ever going to fucking tell us about that, we were worried sick when you didn't come home!" Monika walked over, pulling Saki away as Rosaline stepped forward to meet her.

"I'm sorry, it's important business and I didn't have time to get a phone plan…"

"More important than your friends?! Rosaline, we haven't seen you in months! You're either doing homework or just gone in general!" Monika accused, stepping closer and getting into Rosaline's face. Saki tried getting between the two of them but was unsuccessful as Rosaline stared toward Monika in pure shock, how dare she speak to her like this?. "Can you please tell us what the fuck is going on here?! Why you've decided to stop being our friend?!"

"Monika… please…" Saki whispered out but Rosaline softly patted her shoulder, trying to comfort the girl.

"Saki, Monika, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my trip to England." Rosaline backed off slightly, "I'm not trying to avoid you, I'm truly not, there's just a lot of stress in my life right now… I…" her voice faded at the glances Saki and Monika gave her.

How on earth was she supposed to explain to them what had happened the past months?! How on earth was she supposed to tell them who she was?! They would think she was crazy!

"We're waiting," Monika stated, Saki shoving her as Rosaline returned her gaze to her once more. "I got an internship at World Tower, I wasn't supposed to tell anyone… I'm sorry for keeping it from you both, I've been a terrible friend and I'm going to try harder…"  
Saki ran up to give Rosaline a hug but Rosaline watched as Monika stepped back, the glint of anger not disappearing as she turned on her heels and walked into her room. "You've fucked up Rosaline, don't fucking speak to me until you are ready to stop being a lying bitch." Saki turned and followed, going to comfort Monika as Rosaline took the opportunity to escape into her room. She could hear Monika yelling at Saki, Monika knew there was more to the story and was absolutely pissed that Rosaline was lying about it.

Hot tears formed in her eyes as Rosaline sat down on her bed, curling up in a ball and hugging one of her throw pillows. She couldn't tell them, she was scared of losing her best friends because of this whole nation thing, she needed them to keep her sanity in check.

She felt her phone vibrate, a text from Ludwig telling her he made it to his apartment, with tears still streaming down her face she texted back a simple 'Awesome! Sleep Well! See you tomorrow!' and placed a couple of heart emojis behind it. She placed her phone face down on the nightstand, curling up to quietly cry into the pillow she was clutching. The sounds of Saki and Monika leaving the house together to get dinner coming from the living room and the sounds of Ludwig calling her causing her to sob even more, she felt like she was living two completely separate lives and she hated it.

* * *

Ludwig called for the third time, laying on his own bed with his hand carefully petting the top of Noodles' head. He could just sense something was wrong with Rosaline, the way she was so short and curt with the text message causing him to stress and worry. Did he say something during the past two days? Maybe something happened with one of the other nations? If Francis touched a single hair on her head…

He let his phone drop to the bed, laying back and staring up at the ceiling with a confused look on his face. Why did he get so angry just then? Why was he feeling that way?

Gilbert had poked his head in to announce dinner was ready but a glare from Ludwig caused him to disappear off, Ludwig picked up his phone once more and tried calling Rosaline again with no luck.

Why was he so worried about her?


	5. Hidden Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! 
> 
> This chapter is based loosely on the theory that Germany is HRE or is heavily connected to him, it's a theory that I myself personally follow in the fandom and I hope I don't get any hate for!
> 
> If you enjoyed, please like, review, share, and all that wonderful stuff! I love you all! Hasta-la-pasta!

_Then_

" _Come on Doitsu!" A loud complaint came from Feliciano, the Italian leaning over the large oak desk in the center of Ludwig's office with a soft pout across his face. He crawled over the desk, laying on top and groaning as the German looked away. "What do you mean you don't want to celebrate your birthday?"_

_Ludwig placed down the pen he was holding, rubbing the bridge of his nose softly and glancing up towards the puppy-dog-eyed Italian with a faint scowl across his face. All Ludwig wanted to do was get some work done, he had so much back work to do and Feliciano wasn't helping with his constant pestering, it was getting fairly annoying at this point._

" _Feliciano for the last time you know I don't like celebrating it okay? Can we please drop this?" He used a finger to push his glasses back up his nose, blinking in surprise as the weight of the Italian jumped over the desk and into his arms. Feliciano perched on the desk facing him, frowning as he stared down at the stressed looking German. "Why don't you like your birthday Ludwig? Did something happen? You can tell me…" He murmured softly, Ludwig staring up towards him momentarily, anger lightly swelled in his chest. What part of he wanted to drop this did Feliciano not understand?! He didn't want anything, he just wanted to be left alone!_

" _Feliciano! Please!" The German snapped out, his fist hitting the table beside Feliciano's leg causing the smaller Italian to wince. "Please… just let me get back to my work… please…"_

_Feliciano stood, tears of pain forming into his eyes as he moved out of Ludwig's way slowly. Ludwig watched the Italian walk aimlessly across the room, sighing heavily and shaking his head as he stood. "Feliciano… wait…"_

" _No Ludwig, do your work. I shouldn't have pushed you so hard…" Feliciano whispered in response, his body was slow and methodical with every step he took as he walked towards the large glass windows that encircled Ludwig's office space. Ludwig stood to follow, walking after the Italian who made his way to the back garden. He stepped through the threshold of the doorway, covering his eyes to protect his gaze from the bright sun as he stared at the moving Italian. "Feli-"_

_The scene seemed to change before his eyes and as he slowed to a stop, the garden in front of him had become a courtyard. A large fountain stood proudly in the middle of four stone pathways, in front of it what looked like a small auburn-haired girl stood staring up towards him. Ludwig stared down at the child, carefully getting down on one knee and reaching towards her as tears erupted in her eyes almost immediately. "What-a took you so long?! I've been-a waiting for you to return for so long!" The small child grabbed ahold of his legs, vanishing as a broom handle was swung at him from some unseen force. Ludwig ended up falling backward, closing his blurred eyes tightly while waiting for impact. "W-Wait!"_

_Ludwig's voice trailed off when he heard gunshots in the distance, he stood once more rubbed his eyes, when he opened them again a scene of trench warfare stood in front of him. He stumbled into a couple of craters, blinking in a dazed state of confusion as he passed body after body. His ears rang and he felt his breathing become faintly labored as he fell into shock, stopping at the edge of the trench and staring out onto the warzone in front of it. Planes flew overhead, his eyes lifted and followed the flying objects, unsure which side they were for._

_There stood Feliciano, blue suit tattered and covered in blood, a smile formed onto his face when he saw Ludwig beside the trench. "Doitsu!" he called out, time seemed to stop as Feliciano's hand stretched out towards Ludwigs with tears of joy and pain dripping down his sweet face. Ludwig tried to call out but he couldn't, tears streaming down his cheeks as a whistling sound came from above._

_There was a flash of light._

_Feliciano was gone…_

* * *

_Now_

Ludwig grabbed his phone off the nightstand, staring at it quietly as he ran his hand through his hair slowly. Noodles had tried crawling up beside him but after being ignored and yelled at by Ludwig she resorted to just laying on the floor a couple of feet away, keeping an eye on her master with a soft whine.

He thought about calling them, there wasn't a meeting today but he promised to go with Rosaline and Kiku out for brunch this morning, he felt like he didn't have the energy to go. He stood up, staring at himself in a mirror he had broken ages ago, his eyes red and puffy from the night before.

The beginning of October was hard for Ludwig, especially today, today was his birthday.

He went to call Rosaline, but noticed she had already texted him with her typical " _Good morning! I'll see you later!"_ morning text. He knew he couldn't miss their brunch date, she had been so upset the last time he had canceled on her so suddenly. Maybe being out today would be better than being alone like he usually was, maybe this year would be different. Somehow he knew while tugging on a nice day shirt and a pair of slacks, that today would possibly be different. For all these years he had dreaded this day, every single year he would shield himself from the day, today however seemed like it was going to be different.

He wasn't going to let himself be swayed this year, as long as Rosaline didn't find out about his birthday they would be fine…

He brushed his hair in the same mirror, wiping his eyes faintly and giving himself a fake smile of encouragement, the only thing he could muster at the moment.

Everything would be fine…

* * *

The cafe they were having lunch at was a cat cafe, for obvious reasons, Ludwig didn't mind it though he wished dog cafes were a thing that existed as well.  
Rosaline and Kiku were already there, Rosaline was dressed in a long skirt and a nice shirt complaining jokingly about the cat hair on her while Kiku softly laughed at her words. Rosaline was the first to notice him, standing up and waving him down as Ludwig walked over with a simple coffee in his hand and sat next to Kiku. "Look at this chunky girl Ludwig, according to her tag her name is Bumble Bee! How cute!" Rosaline immediately told him, causing Ludwig to faintly smile and nod his head. "Cute…"

Kiku's hand rested faintly on Ludwig's arm but he immediately pulled away from it, eyes focusing on a cat who had wandered down in front of him. "This one is named Coral, a pretty little one she is..." He murmured, sipping his coffee and looking startled as Rosaline suddenly drew closer to him.  
"Ludwig? What happened to your eyes? Why are they all puffy and red?" Her hands drew up to his face, turning his face to examine it further and causing Ludwig to immediately get flustered by how close she was. "Rosaline! Nothing! My eyes are fine! Gilbert came back drunk last night and…"  
"Gilbert did this to you?!" Rosaline let out a faint cry of shock, immediately stepping back and scowling as she dug through her purse to find her phone. "I'll get him good for you Ludwig, he's not going to get away with this!"

"N-No! Rosaline!" He stammered out but she was already walking away, he now regretted giving her his brother's number. Ludwig set his head briefly onto the table, groaning as he felt a soft tap on his shoulder.  
"I'm surprised you made it today Ludwig, I know how you usually get…" Kiku whispered, Ludwig lifting his head to stare towards the smiling Japanese man. Kiku knew how Ludwig usually got, it really was a surprise that Ludwig was able to get out of bed at all, but now he was here and he was faintly starting to regret his decision.

"I couldn't let Rosaline down, remember the last time I missed one of our lunch dates?"  
"You have an excuse this time Ludwig, if you don't feel like being out then you can go back home. She will understand..." Kiku sipped his tea, brown eyes focusing on Ludwig who just stared at his half-drunk coffee with a tired expression. "I know something else is going on Ludwig, please know that you can trust me with anything…"

"Kiku… I've been having weird dreams, Feliciano has been haunting me... and there's this little girl. I just don't understand what he would want from me, does he blame me for everything?" Ludwig stammered out, eyes furiously blinking away tears as Kiku softly grabbed his hand.

"Maybe, Feliciano is trying to give you closure…"  
Ludwig opened his mouth to answer with a shocked look on his face, he hadn't thought of that.

What if Feliciano was saying goodbye?

Before he could refute the Japanese man's claims, before he could tell him all the gruesome details he remembered from the dreams, their attention was focused back at Rosaline who returned looking particularly excited, "Ludwig! You didn't tell me it was your birthday!"

Fuck.

"Sorry I didn't tell you Rosaline, but I don't like celebrating my birthday all that much…" Ludwig started to quietly explain as Rosaline immediately shook her head in response, "Nonsense! Who doesn't celebrate their birthday?! I thought nations had giant birthdays, considering how important they are…"

Rosaline continued to babble on but Ludwig stopped listening, his eyes glancing out the cafe's windows towards the leaf-covered streets. His dreams from the night before came racing back to him, the little girl next to the fountain, the smile on Feliciano's face as he stared at him, the flash of light as he was disintegrated…

If Feliciano was trying to say goodbye then why was he torturing him so? Was he angry? What did he do to piss off the Italian so much? Did Feliciano blame him for his death? Who was that little girl and why did she feel so familiar to him?

"...I'll call Gilbert again and we'll have a party-"

Rosaline's final statement snapped Ludwig's attention back to the conversation, he shook his head and stood up to the surprise of his companions.  
"Don't bother Rosaline, I don't want a party... Knowing you Italians, however, if you want to consider anything a party then consider our meeting today one. I don't want anything fancy." He stood up and pushed in his chair, careful to not hit any of the cats roaming around on the floor. "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go get some work done. I will see you both later."

Ludwig walked out of the cafe, hands slightly shaking as he slipped into his car, head briefly resting on the steering wheel. He was going to World Tower to work in one of the conference rooms, he hoped one would be open and peaceful.

Today was turning out to be a pretty shitty day...

* * *

"Rosaline, I think you should respect Ludwig's wishes…"

Rosaline heard Kiku urge to her quietly but shook her head, giving him a determined smile with Gilbert's number already punched into her phone. "Ludwig doesn't know what he wants, I'm going to give him the best birthday party he's ever had!"

She stopped and stared at the reminder on her phone, reminding her of the dinner plans she had with Monika and Saki. It would be simple, she would have the party then race to dinner with them, she didn't have to reschedule anything yet. She could do this! She knew she could!

Gilbert had told her to stay out of Ludwig's way today in the call to him previously, continuing to tell her the same thing when she called a second time. Rosaline couldn't understand why someone wouldn't want to celebrate their birthday, it was the day they came into existence, why not celebrate the creation of an amazing person!

She next went to the only other person she knew to turn to for party advice, Alfred, he had been at home with Arthur and Francis at the time when she came in. Alfred was excited about the idea but Francis seemed hesitant, "Maybe we should respect Ludwig's wishes Rosaline, if he doesn't want a party he doesn't want a party…"  
"Don't be such a party pooper and get Gilbert to deliver Ludwig here in a couple of hours Francis!" Alfred complained loudly, putting his coffee down on the table with an excited glint in his eyes. "This is going to be a bitching party!"

It took little time to spread the word of the party to the rest of the group, there wouldn't be many presents for the German except for a few dollar store gifts here and there but the rest of the nations seemed to just buy alcoholic beverages as a gift for the party. Rosaline and Alfred had gone to about ten different stores until they found a pre-made birthday cake, forcing Arthur to put away his cooking utensils for fear of burning the house, and the party, down. Everything was perfect, the banner reading **Happy Birthday Ludwig!** was hung in the walkway leading from the front door, food was scattered about the house with the cake waiting patiently in the fridge, a small dog pinata was hung in the center of the living room.

All they were missing now was the birthday boy.

* * *

Ludwig and Gilbert had just settled in for a dinner of wurst when Francis and Antonio arrived, the two busting in without a single knock and producing an invitation in each hand. "Alfred is having a little shindig! Everyone must attend!" Antonio proudly announced, grinning widely as Francis held back slightly giving the two Germans a faint smile.

Ludwig watched Gilbert stand to lead his friends out, shaking his head slightly and sighing as Antonio and Gilbert argued momentarily over the situation at hand. This was all such a headache, why couldn't he just be left in peace?  
He stood up abruptly, he knew what was coming at Alfred's house and he might as well shut it down before things got too out of hand. "I'll go with them for a little bit, what harm could a small get together be? I should have known this was going to happen after Rosaline found out." He gave his brother a shaky smile, Gilbert giving him a nervous look before agreeing to go with them.

The car ride was awkward and silent, Alfred's house seemed near dead when they arrived. It looked like Rosaline had only made it a small party, perfect, possibly just a dinner.

Ludwig got out of the car with his brother, a sigh of relief escaping from him as Gilbert clapped his back lightly. "I thought when Rosaline called me she was going to go all out, I guess she has some sense compared to previous Northern Italys…" The Prussian beamed and stepped away from Ludwig's light shove towards him; Ludwig was going to say something, a comment on Feliciano's character when a light suddenly flooded from the house. Rosaline stood in the doorway with flashing lights behind her, a wide smile on her face as she led the two into the house full of people. "Happy Birthday Ludwig!" The echo from the crowd rang in Ludwig's ears, his hand grasping Gilbert's arm as Rosaline turned and grabbed something from behind a couch.

She held up a broomstick handle to him, her other hand pointing up at the pinata above her. That simple action, the broomstick being presented to him caused something to break inside of Ludwig, a small bit of him that had never surfaced before was now shattered into pieces. A distant memory from as far back as he could possibly remember. He could see it in his mind, the small child presenting a broomstick with tears in her eyes, the images and reality seemed to flicker together in his mind as tears formed in his eyes.  
Gilbert had run forward to snatch the broomstick away, yelling something Ludwig couldn't understand to Rosaline as a few people came forward to see if Ludwig was okay. His mind started racing and his heart pounded, with the crowd now surrounding him and the images in his mind not fading the overwhelmed Ludwig stepped back with a ragged breath. The broomstick in his mind, which was now being swung at him, became a sword as a flash of blue took over his mind, Ludwig grabbed his head and let out a yell in agony at the thoughts.

Everyone went silent and Rosaline pushed past Gilbert as she stepped just a few feet from Ludwig, holding a hand up towards Ludwig as he immediately shook his head. "Ludwig…"

Ludwig turned and dashed out the front door, he didn't even feel it as he fell off the porch and leaped to his feet. He ran. He ran for as long as he could without stopping or looking back, the dark clouds which had threatened rain for the entire day were now releasing their treacherous rains. He stumbled after running a bit, falling to his knees and slamming his fist into the middle of the road with a loud shout of anger erupting from his chest. A sob overtook him afterward as he pressed his forehead into the earth, begging whatever was above him to make the memories go away.  
The rain had soaked him, his hair was everywhere at this point and his mind was still racing. He didn't know what to do, even when he dragged himself towards a neon sign which advertised beer and other liquors in a bar, he didn't know what else to do but drink the pain away. He placed a twenty on the bar, ignoring the stares and downing his first beer, groaning and smiling as his mind slowly started to become fuzzy.

* * *

Rosaline wiped the tears from her eyes as she stepped into the house, letting her purse fall to the ground as she turned and locked the door. She closed her eyes briefly, leaning her forehead against the doorway. She shouldn't have thrown Ludwig that party, she should have known better, she should have listened to Kiku. They had just spent hours searching for Ludwig, Gilbert was pretty angry at them but she knew it was out of worry for his younger brother. Ludwig had freaked out and ran out into the rain, leaving no trail or not even calling to tell Gilbert where he had ended up. She was honestly kind of scared that something had happened to Ludwig was well, what if he had gotten hurt? Killed?!

She heard the bedroom door open and turned to see Monika leaning against the doorframe, glaring at Rosaline and causing her to glance away from the hatred in her features. "I thought we were supposed to go out today Rosaline… You promised we'd have dinner together…"  
Rosaline's heart sank, while in the process of trying to search for the runaway Ludwig she had forgotten all about the plans she had made with Saki and Monika. "Monika… I…"  
"Are you avoiding me on purpose?" Monika asked, standing up and walking towards Rosaline who pressed herself back against the door. "Or have you ditched us for your new friends?"  
"Listen, Monika, it was Ludwig's birthday and he ran off…"  
"I don't want to hear another fucking word about Ludwig, or any one of your coworkers for that matter, I don't want to hear a word from you. I'm done Rosaline, sick and fucking tired of being ignored." The two girls stood face to face, Rosaline taking a shaky breath as tears started to form more in her eyes. "Saki and I are looking for a new place. Enjoy your new friends."

"Monika please no, please, what about Halloween? Our plans for a Christmas tree? Saki was really looking forward to an actual tree-"

"Saki and I are still doing all that, you are just not invited. Unless you tell me the truth right here and now." Monika's eyes blazed at her, hands turning into fists as she gritted her teeth. "What is your relationship with Ludwig and them? What makes them more important than us?"

Rosaline was at a loss for words, she couldn't tell Monika, she couldn't tell anyone. Monika saw that she wasn't going to say a word and turned, sniffling as she threw one last glare. "You pathetic bitch." She snarled, storming into her room and slamming the door.

Rosaline was about to collapse on the floor, tears streaming down her face when she heard a soft knock on the door. She unlocked the deadbolt and immediately started to wipe her face, staring up at the disheveled-looking Ludwig who stood above her. "Ludwig…"

"She sounds like a real bitch…" He murmured, the faint tinge of beer on his breath as Rosaline pulled him in from the cold night air. She didn't answer him, only pulled him into her room and shut the door softly. "What are you doing here?"  
"I'm sorry for running off… today is a very shitty day for me…" Ludwig had sat down on her bed, glancing at her as she held up a hand. She grabbed a few glasses of water and came back, locking her bedroom door and setting the glasses on her nightstand. She sat beside Ludwig, her hand interlacing with his large hand as he leaned his head back. "I never really got to celebrate my birthday, hell I'm not sure if today is my true birthday. I don't remember much of my childhood, I just woke up one day with Gilbert hovering over me in worry. I-I never celebrated my birthday after that, this is the day that I realized I have no idea who I actually am. Feliciano changed that sort of, he would force me to go do something small at least. A year before… y'know… Feliciano took me on a picnic in my flower garden…" The drunk German murmured, Rosaline nodding her head and rubbing the top of his hand with a soft hum as she felt his tears drip down onto her head. Rosaline's own tears just continued to fall as she moved her arm, wrapping her arms tightly into an engulfing hug that Ludwig immediately accepted.

"Thank you…" She heard him mutter, a soft sob escaping from her as she quietly cried into the German's chest. "Thank you for trying to make my birthday special this year…"  
"Anything for you Ludwig…" She whispered, squeaking when she felt the weight of Ludwig fall back onto the bed. She wiggled faintly and peered up at the passed out German in her bed, a sigh escaping her as a faint smile came to her lips. Her nose scrunched at the smell of beer on Ludwig, she used her free hand to text Gilbert about where Ludwig was and set it on her nightstand as she settled in to rest with the German, her eyes growing heavy at the rhythmic motion of Ludwig's breathing.

She did, however, thought she heard Ludwig whisper something in his sleep, two small words that without context made her weary state confused.

_I'm sorry…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus
> 
> "He's with Rosaline…" Gilbert sighed out, tossing his phone onto the couch and laying onto his back, Francis' hand leaning down to rub his head comfortingly. "I'm sorry, I should have warned you both about what they had planned… I didn't know he would react so harshly, especially the broomstick…"
> 
> "You know why he reacted so bitterly Francis…" Gilbert's voice grew low and dark as he stood, the two men standing face to face as polar opposites for the time being. "He was just a child…"
> 
> "A child whose ambitions were going to cause pandemonium, you remember his wishes to control the world, he would have accomplished it to if I hadn't had-"
> 
> "He was a child Francis!" Gilbert snarled out, his hands turning into fists but never swinging at Francis who slowly backed his way towards the front door.
> 
> "Look at him now Gilbert, he's perfectly fine, he'll go back to normal and forget about everything within a few days!" Francis slowly walked over to the door, pulling it open before stopping. "Germania was naive, sending his youngest son on a conquest to claim the entire world… I honestly don't regret what I did, if I wouldn't have done it then someone else would have, the kid was becoming too powerful. It is better for everyone that the child died, well at least I thought he did..." Francis stepped out of the apartment, Gilbert's fist going into the wall once the door had shut. Gilbert seethed with rage, heart pounding as he stared towards his bloody hand. Memories of the battlefield flashed in front of him, scooping up the small blonde boy from the wreckage and patching up a similar hand wound just moments later. He soon found himself snatching himself from his trance and going for first aid supplies, all of the life seeming to have faded from his red eyes as he watched his blood pour down the drain.
> 
> Francis was his friend, sure, but sometimes, the Frenchman could be a total bitch.


	6. Halloween Hi jinks

_Then_

" _Ludwiiiiigggggggg!" A high pitched whine filled the air causing Ludwig to groan out loud from his side of the room, a scowl forming across his face as his head immediately shook back and forth at a rapid pace at the two men behind him. Feliciano was wearing cat ears and a slim tail tucked into a black pair of pants, a pair of dogs ears and a tail in his hand with a matching pout to Ludwig's across his face. "You promised!"_

" _Feliciano I am NOT wearing dog ears for the last time!" Ludwig protested in return, glaring towards the other as Kiku stepped forward, a pair of bunny ears and a white bunny tail attached to the seat of his trousers. "Ludwig, you did promise to dress up with us, did you not?"_

_Ludwig could tell that the two were hatching some plan, the two men glancing over at each other before looking back to him with widening smiles. "You are a man of honor, correct? You should keep your promises…"_

_Ludwig groaned as he looked back at himself in the mirror, the dog ears poking out of his blonde hair like a sore thumb and the tail in his hands not yet placed on. Sure he had promised them he would go to the costume party with them, but not dressed up like a dog! What would happen if anyone else saw him?! It would be embarrassing! Gilbert would never let him live it down, never!_

_But the look on Feliciano and Kiku's faces, the eager demeanor of the two as they eyed his tail in delight, they were fairly excited and it wasn't often he got to see the two of them so happy._

_He sighed and turned around, scowling and holding the tail up to the seat of his pants. "I can't put it on myself…" He commented, Kiku giving a successful smile and walking out the door to readjust his costume. Feliciano was the one to step forward and take the tail, attaching it to Ludwig's rear end with a goofy smile across his face. "You look adorable Ludwig" Feliciano cooed to the German, Ludwig bending down and allowing the Italian to kiss his cheek softly. "When are we going to tell Kiku about us? He deserves to know, he's our closest friend…" Feliciano started to mention, Ludwig shaking his head and walking towards his desk. "Right now just isn't a good time Feliciano, if we tell Kiku then we tell the rest of the world…and I don't know if I'm ready to let that secret fully spill yet..." he dug through a few of his desk drawers, producing a belled collar within his hands and lifting it for the excited Italian to see. "Here's your… collar… you don't know how awkward it was picking it up from Petsmart…" He made a face as Feliciano skipped over and without hesitation placed it around his neck, having Ludwig help him adjust it before planting a soft kiss against the Germans lips._

" _I'm going to win the costume party for sure, this collar is definitely going to help!" Feliciano squeaked, eyes shining as he stared up at Ludwig who just gave him a half-smile as he lightly patted the other man's back slowly at his contentment._

" _Yeah… sure, Feliciano…"_

* * *

_Now_

"A costume party?" Rosaline's interest had been piqued as she stared towards the video call she was in with Ludwig, Kiku, Lovino, and Antonio. They had scheduled a meeting for that day but due to renovations in their usual meeting room Kiku had suggested that they did a video call instead; it was fairly weird seeing glimpses of their personal lives behind the screen, weird but interesting at the same time. She could see that Kiku was at his apartment sitting perched at a small table with something cooking behind him on a hot plate, instead of in a suit like she would normally see him he was wearing more comfortable clothing which was a fairly rare sight for the Japanese man. Ludwig seemed to be in bed with only his upper body shown against a wooden headboard, every so often there was a dog bark or the occasional shout from Gilbert but other than that everything seemed fairly simple and rather plain.

Antonio and Lovino were in the same room together, considering the two were roommates was easily explained. The room looked like a living room with dark-colored furniture and art distorted by the video quality, both were side by side staring down at the screen with Antonio showing the text message from Francis to the others. "Alfred just announced it, he probably would have told you later Rose. Halloween costume party, the first-place winner gets candy and monetary prize, it's tomorrow night!"

"Which was obvious considering tomorrow is Halloween!" Lovino scoffed, pushing Antonio away as he moved closer to the video feed. "Whatcha think Rosaline? I won't go unless you do!"

Rosaline thought for a couple of moments with a look of hesitation. She had promised Monika and Saki that she would go trick or treating with them considering Saki had never done such a thing, they would be pretty pissed if she missed, neither of them had spoken to her since her fight with Monika and she missed her best friends.

"Well-" She started to answer but sat up upon hearing the front door ring. "Hold on gang, it's the front door… COMING!" She leaped up and scrambled to her door, opening it and looking out to Monika who was standing in front of Alfred and Francis with her arms crossed. Alfred had just been explaining the details of his party to Monika, his eyes drifting to Rosaline's as Monika shook her head. "Sorry Mr. Jones, the three of us already have plans-"  
"But Rosaline is going, right?" Francis chimed in, all eyes going to Rosaline who stopped and nervously laughed at the comment, Monika's eyes glaring daggers into her. "Now I didn't say yes yet…"

"Antonio said you did, I can help with a costume if you need!" He held up his phone and Rosaline cursed under her breath, smiling at the two as Monika cooly grabbed the front door with a tight grasp. "We'll let you gents know, maybe we can work something out…"

Rosaline gave them a look for help as Monika slammed the door, turning slowly towards Rosaline with a glare on her face. God Rosaline was going to give Francis and Antonio hell for this later. "What about our fucking night Rosaline?!"

"L-Listen Monika! I just got invited as well through a business call… I have no idea where they got the idea that I was going-"

"What's going on?" Saki's tired voice came from her bedroom as the two looked over at her, Monika ran over and grabbed her arm softly to lead her to the couch. Saki had been recently severely sick and was recovering rapidly, though sometimes she was still fairly weak. "Mr. Jones invited us to a party and Rosaline decided…"

"A party? Oh, can we go Monika?! I feel so bad we've had to miss all of the other parties Mr. Jones has thrown and since Halloween is on a Saturday…" Rosaline watched Monika tense up, the blonde looking between her and Saki as her breath came through gritted teeth. "Are you sure Saki? What about Trick or Treating?"

"We're too old for it anyway, I want to go to the party…" She sleepily confirmed, Monika standing upright and giving the girl below her a fake smile. She walked past Rosaline, bumping aggressively into her and whispering "you got lucky" as she disappeared into her bedroom.

Rosaline looked between her and Saki, excusing herself once she had gotten Saki a cup of coffee back to her room where Lovino and Antonio were arguing about costume ideas. She sat down on the bed and shrugged her shoulders, "I guess I'm going… three problems, however, a. My roommates were just invited, b. Monika is pissed off at me because of it, and c. I don't have a costume." She frowned as the four men on her screen turned to her in surprise.

"Rosaline, you haven't told them yet about… you?" Kiku asked gently, "How do you explain your absence?!"

"I- ah kinda told them I was your intern?" She cheekily smiled as the others immediately shook their heads, Lovino calling her an idiot and taking over the video cam from Antonio. "You can tell them, Rosaline, as long as they keep it a secret. They must think you're extremely overworked at this point, that or you hate them!"

"How do I tell them something this huge?! Oh, guys by the way! I'm not a complete asshole I'm just a fucking nation?!" Rosaline felt a bit of anger starting to swell into her chest, how was she supposed to spill such a large, complicated can of beans?! What if they didn't believe her?! What then?!

"They may find out at the party tonight… tonight maybe the time you have to tell them…" Antonio called out from behind Lovvino, peering around the Italian with a faint frown. "A lot of the other nations tend to let loose during these parties, especially when they get drunk, no formalities are used and actual nation names are used."

"I'll figure out something…" She tugged as her comforter, looking fairly nervous as the others spent the next twenty minutes of their meeting time reassuring her.

Ludwig stayed behind with her after everyone left the call, giving her a faint smile. The two had grown closer since the night he stayed over, there wasn't a day that the two hadn't had a full-blown conversation either through text or call. It was a comfort knowing she had a friend like Ludwig, he was there for her when no one else seemed to be, besides Francis of course but at that moment she was a little ticked at him. "Listen, I may have a costume you can borrow…"

* * *

Ludwig started rubbing the back of his neck on the other side of the call with a faint smile forming across his lips, the sweet look she gave him was almost enough to melt his entire heart away. Ever since the night he got drunk and went to her house he had felt more awkward around her as if he needed to prove himself to her, but also craved her attention at the same time. It was a complicated process, he didn't understand it at all. He'd felt this way only once, but it seemed to be such a distant memory he couldn't remember where or for whom.

He heard her say something but wasn't sure what because of the sound of Noodle barking at Gilbert from the kitchen, he glanced away then looked back to Rosaline with a nervous smile. "It's a vampire costume, that's really all I have… I can bring it over later today if you'd like it-"

"It's perfect Ludwig, but Francis already promised me that he had one! I'll look at the one Francis has and get back to you, thank you though! You're such a great friend to me and I hope you know that I'm glad we've become so close! I'm sorry I'm rushing this but I have a class in twenty minutes and I have to get dressed! Bye Ludwig!" She blew him a kiss over the stream, smiling brightly as Ludwig stared at her momentarily in a memorized gaze. "Alright. Let me know if I need to I'll come by later with the costume, I'm glad that I-" his voice trailed off as the feed shut off, he lowered his gaze and shook his head with a faint smile as a small pillow was brought up to cover his blush covered face.

"Right… Just friends…"

* * *

The party was supposed to start in ten minutes the next day and Ludwig was nowhere near ready, he could hear his brother yelling for him from Alfred's bathroom and the sounds of music starting from the living room as he finished positioning his teeth. Ludwig had gone with his brother and helped Alfred set up the decorations for the house, he had even carved a few pumpkins with Rosaline's supposed roommates though he could hardly care for the one named Monika. From what Rosaline said about Monika he now understood what she meant about Monika being an absolute bitch, just off of her personality towards everyone alone. Saki was nice, quietly speaking with anyone who came up to them and explaining who they were, friends of Rosaline.

Speaking of Rosaline, she was supposed to come help but ended up stuck with Francis at his house getting her costume on and ready. There was no telling when they were going to show up, he had made sure to keep close to the front windows until the time constraint made him retreat to get on his costume.

A pang of jealousy still flowed through Ludwig, he didn't mind that she didn't wear the outfit considering he was wearing it now, but the thought of that pervert alone with her was a bit unnerving. Sure she was just friends with Francis, similarly to how she was just friends with him… He hated that phrase, just friends, wasn't it a given that they were already friends? Why did she have to say it like that to him yesterday? Why did saying that phrase make him so upset?!

He just couldn't understand...

A knock on the door caused him to turn as Gilbert slid inside the tiny bathroom, "Lud, Jesus fuck, are you coming out or not?! The party is ramping up, no sign of Franny or Rose but I'm not surprised by that one…" Ludwig nearly hit Gilbert at the wiggle of his eyebrow, stepping out of the bathroom and sighing out as he finished tying his robe around his neck and walking into the music-filled home with a faint sense of dread.

It was nearly a half an hour after the party started, both Ludwig and Kiku were prepping to go after the two missing nations, fearing that they may have gotten into an accident when the front door swung open. Arm in arm with Francis Rosaline walked into the party, everything around Ludwig seemed to stop and play in a sort of slow-motion as he watched her. She was dressed in a short brown dress, a nice pair of black boots that shined nicely with a good boot polish, a pair of dog ears perched in her perfectly done hair, a tail that attaches to the back of the dress, and a beat-up looking red collar with a single dog tag on it. Her makeup was beautiful, mixed with face paint she looked like a gorgeous german shepherd. That was his costume from years prior, he knew he let Gilbert borrow it but how did Francis get it? How was it now on Rosaline?!

He saw Gilbert smirk from beside him and nudge him, "Close your mouth, Ludwig, you'll catch flies." he heard Gilbert say but didn't answer as he watched the Italian girl approach, stammering for a word to say as Rosaline smiled. "Sorry I'm late, Francis couldn't decide what to wear." She giggled and did a quick twirl for him, looking surprised as Gilbert stepped forward and grabbed her waist softly. "Damn lookin' good Rose! I'd be the luckiest guy in the world to be with someone like you… have a drink! Alfred won't find out!"

Ludwig stepped forward and took the cider from Gilbert, Rosaline turning and huffing up at him. "I'm almost twenty-one, Ludwig, please! I've never had a drink before, and besides, I am in safe hands, right?" Rosaline whined, he squirmed slightly underneath her puppy dog eyes and sighed heavily as he gave her back the drink. "Don't let Lovino catch you…he'll use my skin as a rug."

"Where is Lovino anyway?" Rosaline asked, sipping her drink and glancing around as Ludwig just simply shrugged. "No idea, oh be careful!" He steadied her to her feet and frowned, she was already pretty tipsy, that damn Francis was probably giving her wine while she was at his house! He watched her stumble off into the crowd with wide smiles and delighted shouts towards certain people, trailing after her similar to a lost puppy while keeping a close eye on her.

He needed to make sure she was safe. That was the job of a best friend, right?

* * *

Rosaline dance practically all night with the other nations, happily drinking ciders and getting up and close with any other nations who would dance with her. Lovino showed up halfway through the party and tried to cut her off but Gilbert would always appear with another for her, he was a real enabler. She every once in a while would check up on Monika and Saki, trying to be a good host towards them but she would be pulled back into the party by Francis or some other nation who wanted to dance with her. She noticed Ludwig's weird stare a couple of times but classified it as worried glances as she continued to have her fun, drinking, eating candy, and talking with others about their lives and their time at the party. She was still a spectacle to others, they would always try to interact with her as much as they could as if she was going to slip away from their grasp once more. She tried to get Ludwig to dance a couple of times, grabbing his hands and pulling him towards the dance floor but was only rejected by the German man who would shuffle back to his spot on the wall. She even got Kiku to walk over and dance with her briefly but Ludwig wouldn't budge, he would just stand there and watch her quietly with a faint frown plastered across his face. It was obvious he wasn't having a good time and she couldn't understand why.

It wasn't until two or three in the morning, six ciders and one costume contest first place ribbon later that she waved goodbye to the others. She stumbled down the hill to her house with a bit of a sway, coming through the front door and immediately being greeted with Saki and an extremely pissed off Monika. She immediately seemed to sober up as her eyes widened, Monika immediately lurching towards her in pure anger. "Where the fuck were you all night? You basically blew us off again!" Monika snapped as Rosaline lifted her hands in defense, looking to Saki who immediately looked away. "Monika…"

"You either tell us the truth right now Rosaline or you go sleepover at one of your "friends" houses!" Monika simply stated, sitting on the back of the couch and staring at her with an intense frown that caused Rosaline's entire body to faintly tremble.

Rosaline took a deep breath and pressed herself against the door, looking between the two before looking down to the ground. "Fine… I'm sorry I've been ignoring you two…" She started while staring at her hand, not able to face Monika's glare or Saki's sad expression at the moment as she cleared her throat. "I'm not sure how to explain this… there are people in this world who are walking and talking physical representatives of their home countries. I am one of them, I am the representative of my home country Northern Italy. Ludwig for example, he represents Germany-"

Monika started to laugh, a disgusted laugh that caused Rosaline to wince and immediately grow quiet. "What kind of drugs did they give you at that party?! Are you high?! You are a representative of a nation?"  
"This isn't a laughing matter Monika!" Anger swelled in Rosaline as she walked into her bedroom, reemerging with the iron cross Lovino had given her when he first spoke with her. Monika was still laughing as Saki approached, examining the cross carefully and with a now curious look in her eyes. "My father back home would tell me stories about the world nations, he used to work security for one of their buildings when he was younger… One nation used to wear that cross, I've seen it in numerous photos… Feliciano Venezino Vargas." Saki's voice grew hushed, even Monika stopped her laughing and grew quiet as Rosaline looked away in shame. "I-I don't know much about Feliciano, he would have been my brother, however, all I know is that I have his job now… It was so hard keeping this a secret from you two…" Tears started to form in Rosaline's eyes as she collapsed against the sofa, she covered her face and turned away when she felt Saki's arm on her shoulder. "It's hard balancing the two lives… I've been neglecting a lot of my school work because I go to meetings all the time, I keep having strange dreams about what's going on back in Italy…" She shook her head and laughed slightly "Yet… I don't feel complete, like a huge part of my nation has been taken even though it hasn't... I'm sorry if I sound like a loon, I didn't believe Lovino at first as well… Then this cross… whenever I touch it I feel a warmth, like it perfectly fits within me somehow…"

She clutched the cross and looked up, even Monika who sat on the other side of Saki was now growing closer with a curious look across her face as she stared at the cross. All three of them sat for what seemed like forever in silence, holding each other and seeming to only communicate through gazes and facial expressions. Finally, Monika was the one who stood up, bending down in front of the other sobbing girl with a still-present frown. "Let's get you in bed Rosaline…"

"Please don't hate me, Monika…" Rosaline whispered but was surprised when Monika's arms wrapped around her in a gentle manner, "I don't Rose… let's get you in bed…" Rosaline stumbled slightly, not really feeling super hot as she was led carefully into her bedroom by her roommates.

Rosaline laid out on the bed, her vision blurred by tears as her attention rested on her phone. She wasn't sure what to think, why was Ludwig refusing to do anything with her at the party? She curled herself into a tighter ball, closing her eyes tightly and waiting for the sudden upcoming nausea to pass.

Did she do something wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra/Cut Scene:  
> "This costume better be appropriate Francis, if it's not…" Rosaline started to threaten, hand grasping the handle of the door and her eyes bore at the Frenchman beside her. They had just arrived at a large, quite gorgeous french style home on the outskirts of town and by the look on Francis' face, she knew this wasn't good.
> 
> "Non! Just trust me, you'll love this!" Francis patted her leg, lifting his hand once Rosaline gave him a harsh glare and cockily glanced away. "You know I'm still pissed at you for your comment at that meeting…"
> 
> "You'll never let me live that down, I have apologized numerous times!" Rosaline laughed at Francis' exasperated sigh, the two of them stepping out of the car and walking up the perfectly planted sidewalk towards a large porch. "Trust me when I say this will be perfect, I got it from Gilbert and I haven't worn it in a couple of years but it will be good."  
> Rosaline looked over the railing, waving to Arthur who was out in the yard tending to a row of rose bushes. Francis stopped and waved as well, leaning towards her with a hushed whisper. "He doesn't have enough room at his apartment to do them there, I let him, it's really the only thing he can do right without killing anything-" Rosaline held in a snicker as the two went inside, shutting and locking the door before Arthur could make a comment or retaliate back. They wove through multiple hallways within the large house and ended up in a small back bedroom covered in boxes, more of a storage room by the looks of it. Rosaline was more concerned with the number of swords and pirate hats Francis had hanging on his wall while the Frenchman in question dug through a few boxes, waving off her concern with a large smile. "Trophies from the glory days my darling, ah-ha! Here we are!"
> 
> Rosaline turned around and gasped at the dog ears in Francis' hands, making a faint face at the tail as she stepped forward and watched as Francis put the dog ears on the top of her head. "Yes! That looks perfect Rosaline! Now, we just need to get you a proper outfit to go with it too..."
> 
> Rosaline silently turned towards the mirror, examining herself in the mirror while sucking in a breath. She did look fairly good in the ears, maybe a nice dress or some shorts and a brown shirt could help make the look better. She looked into the box that had held the outfit, pulling out the collar that laid in the bottom of the box and examining the collar. The golden tag that hung off the collar read 'Italy' in faded letters, she shrugged her shoulders and put it loosely around her neck turning around once she heard Francis gasp in utter shock. Francis stood a few feet away, having dropped the box of clothes he was carrying and stared at her, "S-Sorry mon Cheri, that's for another costume, must have gotten mixed in…"
> 
> "Come on Francis! It goes with the aesthetic!" She responded as she turned around, winking at herself boldly in the mirror with a hand on her hip. "I like it!"
> 
> Francis approached her from behind and she saw a pained look in his eyes, his hand lifting briefly to stroke the red collar around her neck. She knew from the look that it belonged to Feliciano, the way Francis just stared at the mirror with a haunted look within his eyes as if he knew more about this story than he led on.
> 
> "Alright, alright I guess… I have a few dresses you can try on in that box over there, there's this brown one I think would work the best…" Francis's hand stayed for another few moments at her neck, his breath hitching as he quickly turned away from her. Rosaline continued to stare at herself in the mirror as he bent down to dig through the box, the collar felt warm around her neck causing her to smile faintly as her hand carefully grasped the small dog tag.
> 
> It was perfect, she felt like she belonged in this outfit.


	7. Brotherhood

The car seemed to lurch to a complete stop as it was whipped into a parking spot between two cars, the driver fully satisfied with his parking job while his four passengers held onto anything they could in a desperate attempt of safety. Rosaline watched as Arthur turned his car off, only the faint hum of the radio and heavy breathing from the other passengers in the car remained as he gave a snort. "By God, you all act like I nearly killed you all getting here!"  
"You almost got hit by a train Arthur." Alfred corrected, Rosaline faintly giggling and following his motion for her to get out before any retaliation could be done against them by Arthur.

It was break time for the college, Monika and Saki had gone home leaving Rosaline to her own devices. The three had just begun to become close again, sharing meals where Rosaline would tell them each time about a different nation she interacted with while the other two would listen and ask questions, so it was hard for Rosaline to spend the two weeks away from them. She had decided to stay at their rental, not really having a family elsewhere to go visit, and after two days of being alone, it was driving her insane. She still talked to Ludwig almost daily, bugging him at times when she felt most alone but after the second day of non-stop texting him she decided to try and find something else to pass her time with.

Her plan seemed to work, she went up the hill and found that Alfred was getting ready for Thanksgiving with Matthew, Francis, and Arthur, she didn't mean to intrude but when they invited her to go food shopping with them she couldn't resist going. She was going not only to get out of the house but to witness one of their infamous outings, Ludwig had told her about it once, Francis, Alfred, Arthur, and Matthew while they loved each other, couldn't stand being in the same room as one another for very long without causing trouble. Ludwig had called it chaos, but Rosaline called it comedy, she loved the interactions between the four and was even more excited that she was seeing this now in public.

* * *

Arthur had put on a pair of sunglasses, bickering at Francis on whether his satchel was considered a "man purse" as the five approached the store. Matthew was the one who grabbed the carts, Rosaline placing the reusable bags in the cart and being careful to study the men's interactions with each other carefully. So far only Arthur and Francis were lightly bickering, voices low but sharp as Matthew pushed the cart and Alfred ran ahead to collect the food on their list. Once done with the front section of the store the list was ripped in three, one part being given to Rosaline who decided to stay with Matthew to do produce and meat, one part was given to Francis and Arthur who were doing dry goods, and the rest was given to Alfred who was getting everything non-food related.

Rosaline honestly had never been around Matthew much before that moment, at parties he was usually in the background or wasn't present at all, she summed it up to group anxiety and respected the man for it. But now she followed alongside him awkwardly, the two silent as they walked along the fruits and vegetable aisle rather slowly. She knew nothing about Matthew besides the fact that he was Alfred's brother, she couldn't quite remember whether Alfred had even talked about Matthew to her much and it confused the hell out of her, how could someone not talk about their sibling like that?  
"Can you grab some tomatoes?" Matthew's soft voice shattered the awkward silence between them, Rosaline glancing up towards the blonde with a swift nod of her head. She caught his gaze for a moment, a smile blooming across her lips as a tender blush formed across the other's cheeks. "Why the smile?"  
"I know you two look like each other but are you and Alfred truly related? You seem like complete opposites!" Rosaline mused, bagging a couple of plump tomatoes from the basket as Matthew gave her a half-smile. "I'm afraid so, I'm not sure you could consider it completely biological considering what we are but…" Matthew set the tomatoes in the basket, Rosaline nodding her head while trying her best to remember her previous history lessons but was cut off as Matthew continued to push the cart. "I guess you could consider Arthur and Francis our brothers as well, I see Francis more like a fatherly figure myself however but that's because a lot of me came from him if that makes sense… But no matter what Alfred and I are going to remain brothers, we were raised that way so that's how it's going to stay!"

A thought came to Rosaline's mind, she turned to Matthew and faintly smiled with a cock of her head. "This may be a sensitive question or one that isn't so easily answered, but were you born into your nationality? Or were you an extension of Francis?"  
Matthew actually stopped to think for a few moments, Rosaline taking the moment to grab a few herbs as he then turned to her. "I believe I was born, I was born of the representation of the time, Inuit, and afterward I took her place."  
"Is Inuit still alive? If so I haven't-"  
"No, she died after I was born."

The silence grew heavy as Rosaline stopped, her eyes drifting to the ground as Matthew immediately took her hand. He had a warm smile across his face, a look that actually caught Rosaline slightly off guard. "Inuit gave her life so that I could live, even though her physical body is gone her spirit still lives within me and I can feel her with me every single day…" Rosaline understood Matthew's smile as she leaned up and gave him a hug, the tensed body of the Canadian soon melting and reciprocating the hug willingly. "That's kind of how it works as a nation, it's hard having two representatives for one country. Honestly, that's why it was a fairly big shock when you came along, most of the world had accepted that Lovino would take over the entire nation." Matthew continued, placing some meat into the cart as Alfred rounded the corner with his hands full of boxes and other things from his portion of the list. He smiled at Rosaline and looked between the two as she finished helping him place his goodies into the cart, "You two seem to be getting along fairly well now."  
"Yeah, Matthew was talking to me about nation stuff that's all. He was telling me about his birth… do you remember much about when you were born- or formed Alfred?"  
Rosaline watched as Alfred turned towards her, his smile faintly confused. "How did… nevermind, nations are always usually born into this life not created. There's only one exception I can think of that stands out, everyone nation you see was born and lived most of their life as a nation. I was born and passed around by a bunch of different nations before being taken care of by Arthur until my revolution."  
Rosaline watched Alfred stop immediately, turning her head she watched Francis and Alfred return with the part of the list they had gotten. She was confused for a brief moment why their conversation had suddenly stopped but seeing their approach made her think, was there still minor hostility about the war? She dropped the subject however, giving Arthur a hand with his items as they all agreed to stop for lunch. They paid for the items, a small spat had formed about who was paying for a few things between Francis and Arthur but soon they all piled into the car, Rosaline scowled lightly as she looked towards her phone. "Damn, guys I'm sorry but could we possibly reschedule this lunch for another time? Ludwig wants to have a quick meeting through skype." She asked with another layer of apologies, the others only smiling and telling her that it would be no problem as Arthur drove them home.

* * *

Rosaline shut her laptop, giving an exhausted sigh as she flopped down on her bed. God that took longer than she thought it was going to, she was starving and exhausted. Being a nation was cool, but god was it time-consuming. She glanced down at her phone, looking curiously at the texts she had been receiving from Francis a few hours.

* * *

**Bonneboi: Rose, Matthew was telling us about your conversations!**

**Bonneboi: He really likes you, I think. It's so adorable! You two have to get together again, I ship it!**

**Bonneboi: Do you have any other questions about what you heard?**

* * *

She frowned faintly, something felt almost odd that Matthew had mentioned their conversation to the others. Was asking other nations about their history that taboo?

There was one question she had, she typed it out and sent it with a racing heart, staring as the notification popped up that Francis was typing.

* * *

**Rosie: Who was Alfred talking about earlier? He said something about one of the nation's birth being super sketch or something?**

**Bonneboi: Who was Alfred talking about? Surely they told you about Ludwig, right?**

* * *

Her frown deepened and she shook her head, Ludwig was this supposed oddball? It felt strange knowing that, like she was toeing over some sort of line.

* * *

**Bonneboi: Let's go out for lunch sometime after the holiday, I can explain it better there. Sorry.**

* * *

Francis' active sign went dark on the messenger app and Rosaline stared at it rather confused, her phone dropping to her bed as she laid her head back onto her pillows slowly.

God, why did everything have to be a secret with these people?


	8. Admiration

_Then_

_The weatherman had said that the rain wouldn't start until the evening, which to Ludwig was now a total lie considering the buckets of water coming down over his and Feliciano's heads. The two had gone out to a few outdoor markets late in the afternoon, the clouds had seemed to chase the pair for a long time until finally just releasing its load mercilessly from the heavens. Ludwig managed to find an awning big enough to squeeze at least Feliciano under and stood awkwardly half under it while Feliciano just started to laugh rather hard at their situation, despite being drenched to the bone the Italian still seemed so vibrant and so full of life it was almost intoxicating to Ludwig. He managed to catch Feliciano's gaze and reached his hand down, gently rubbing the smaller boy on the head. "Sorry about that rain, if I would have known it would be coming down this hard I would have brought an umbrella."  
_ " _It's not like the rain is going to make me melt Ludwig, it's okay… I love it when the weather surprises us like this, it's mysterious, like you Ludwig."_

_Ludwig glanced down at the Italian who was now softly holding the hand against his cheek, a smile forming softly that reflected the loving one on the Italian below him. "I'm mysterious?" He mused as Feliciano's features perked up more._

" _Not in a bad way, I've known you for years now and there are still many things that I don't know about you. It's just a thought." Feliciano murmured, Ludwig snorting faintly and rolling his eyes. "I'm not exactly an open book like you Feliciano, though I'm surprised by you saying that considering how close we are already." He was cut off by Feliciano who pressed his finger against his lips, smiling once more as the Italian's hand traced over his jawline with soft fingertips. "I wish you could see how I see you Ludwig, then you'd understand what I meant…"_

_Ludwig gave a look of confusion as Feliciano looked out at the thinning rain, the Italian nudged him out and dragged him down the middle of the market to Ludwig's car. "There is one thing I know about you Luddy!"_

_Once in the car Ludwig turned to buckle his seat belt and felt his lips connect briefly with Feliciano, the two share a brief moment of love for each other as Feliciano pulled back and gave Ludwig a bright grin.  
_ " _...I've always loved you."_

_Ludwig opened his eyes after a few brief seconds and realized he wasn't sitting in a car, Feliciano was gone now and all that remained was a dark wasteland around him. He tried pushing himself to his feet, heart racing as he looked around. He looked to himself and grasped the black garb he was in, what the hell was he wearing? Where was he in the first place? What happened to Feliciano?  
He attempted to call out Feliciano's name but the word he called out wasn't that, "Italy…" He heard himself croak, like he didn't know how to say his lover's name as he heard heavy footsteps coming from behind him. His heart raced and he started to feel the panic rise from within, why was he so scared?_

" _Why can't you just stay down?" Ludwig heard a voice hiss, his head snapping around and catching a faint glimpse of blonde hair as a boot near knocked the air out of his lungs. His gaze raised but couldn't make out the hazy mass above him due to the sun, he lifted up a small hand as the being above him raised his sword to strike._

" _Why won't you die Holy Rome?"_

* * *

Now

Ludwig awoke unable to breathe, air wheezed desperately from his lungs as he fell back against his mattress once more. His widened gaze stared up at the rafters above him. the memories of his nightmare seeming to leak from his mind as he processed what had happened. This was different than the dreams he was having for the past couple of months and he wanted to know why. These types of dreams were starting to occur more frequently, every night his dreams were plagued with Feliciano and seemingly the memories of another as he interacted with strangely familiar beings and wandered empty battlefields with only his wits. Tonight was the first night he was killed, whose memories was he witnessing? The better question however being what murder was he watching take place? Why did the killer call him Holy Rome? The killer sounded so familiar to him, God he had to stop watching true crime before bed.

Ludwig rolled over and sat up, stretching his tensed muscles as he popped his neck and joints in a few places. His head rolled to the side, glancing at the floor and frowning when he noticed that Noodle was gone. Usually, when he got up in the morning he would take Noodle out into the kitchen for her breakfast, maybe even take her for an early morning walk if he didn't have meetings. He rubbed his eyes and lightly shook his head, maybe Gilbert had gotten up earlier and took her out, she did have a big dinner after all the night before. He casually gave the clock a quick glance, his brain seeming to not fully comprehend the lit-up numbers in front of him as he heard a soft knock coming from the front door. A rush of annoyance flew through him, why was someone visiting him at one in the afternoon?

His head snapped over to the clock as a strangled gasp ran through him, it was one in the afternoon! He had overslept!

The knocks at the front door once more caused him to scramble to his feet, snatching some pants from his bedroom floor as he stammered out a loud "C-Coming!" while slamming open his bedroom door.

God, he forgot to set his alarm. Rosaline was here!

* * *

School was hitting Rosaline hard, between papers and meetings the poor girl hadn't had a simple moment to herself. Monika and Saki were struggling with their own workloads so the three hardly ever saw each other, enabling Rosaline to revert to some pretty bad habits from her schooling days. It didn't help either that Alfred seemed to have company almost every single day and night, there wasn't a peaceful place Rosaline could find to do her work. Rosaline was becoming a walking zombie and people were starting to take notice. It wasn't until a weekday meeting however that Ludwig had pulled her aside, commenting on her tired stature and lecturing her about proper habits that she crumbled. It was decided after a brief conversation that on Saturday Rosaline would come over in the afternoon to catch up on her paperwork, Gilbert was normally out until late on the weekend so it would be a perfect time for the two of them to just work and get some things done in advance.

Now Rosaline listened to the crashing noises coming from the apartment, glancing up and down the hallway for any signs of life before watching the door slam open in front of her and a disheveled Ludwig stand before her awkwardly. "I'm sorry, I slept in. Come in Rosaline please." The sleepy-looking German murmured, Rosaline giving him an understanding smile as she stepped past him and glanced around the very well organized apartment. Ludwig at that moment was honestly the only thing out of place there, stepping through the front door brought her into a large room split unevenly between a living room and a kitchen. Just beyond the kitchen, she could see what seemed to be a hallway with two bedrooms, a couple of closets, and a bathroom just off to her right. She watched Ludwig shut the door and waved her hand, "Go freshen up Ludwig, I'll set myself up in the kitchen." She assured, watching him stammer nonsense and stumble off into the bathroom to comb his hair in defeat. Looking around the room as she walked through she saw little photos of Gilbert and Ludwig together, there were only a few different wall hangings scattered about the bleak white wall but many of the things she didn't recognize at all. Different flags, posters and even a couple of swords oddly enough.

Rosaline set her backpack down on the table, smiling at the German Shepherd who was cautiously approaching her now. "I think your name is Noodle… right?" She whispered, the dog seemed to understand her because she perked up slightly and sat at her feet with a loving roll of her tongue. She gave Noodle a soft pat on the head, half insistently loving the dog while bringing books and other materials from her backpack with the determination to do her work.

Rosaline, however, had just taken out her pencil case, a cute one in the shape of a cute cat, but ended up missing the table. She nearly jumped out of her skin as Noodle snatched up the case and took off with it down the hallway, Rosaline groaning in frustration and rubbing her temples.

"Noodle! Not my pencil case! I don't have time for this!" Rosaline complained, following the pooch down the hallway and managing to catch up with her when she leaped onto Ludwig's messy bed to chew on the case. She snatched up the case before Noodle could harm it, scowling slightly at the grinning dog before the contents of Ludwig's room caught her immediate attention. It looked different than in the facetime and skype calls she did with Ludwig, while she saw the wall usually seen during business calls the rest of them were filled with life. One wall bore Ludwig's flag, along with a few other memorabilia artifacts and posters from his history while the other had a large bookcase filled to the brim with boxes and books of all sizes. After ignoring a few crudely labeled magazines and books in one corner a small brown box, in particular, drew her over. dark oak The wood cover and carved image of a dog encouraging her to trace her finger over as she removed it from the shelf. As she pulled the box away a photo fluttered from between the shelves, prompting her to bend down and examine the old polaroid with growing widening eyes.

The boy to the right of Ludwig looked similar to Lovino giving her the idea that this had to be Feliciano, his arms were wrapped around Ludwig's neck and the two were looking at each other with such soft eyes. Ludwig, though looking fairly annoyed like he seemed to do didn't seem as annoyed to the brightly smiling Italian around his neck. She stood up with the photo in her hand, a wave of emotion taking over her as she stared down at the way Ludwig and Feliciano looked at each other. She opened the box in her hands and felt her mood dip down even more as an old, soft tune filled the still air. Inside of the music box in her hands were more polaroids, most of them were of Ludwig and Feliciano in one way or another while other nations appeared every once in a while.

Rosaline had just backed up and sat on the bed, staring numbly at the photo-filled box with faint tears brimming in her eyes. She didn't understand why she was feeling this way, was it because she was realizing how close Ludwig was to her predecessor? Was it the emotions she guessed Ludwig was feeling now about her replacing Feliciano in his duties?

Rosaline heard Ludwig clear his throat but didn't move, her eyes looking at him from the small mirror on the lid of the music box as a shaking hand moved to quickly wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry, Noodle took my pencil case and then I saw this…"

"It's beautiful, isn't it? Feliciano made that for me." Ludwig explained as he walked over, gingerly taking the box and closing the lid with more grace and care than Rosaline had ever seen from him. "He gave it to me for the anniversary of our first meeting I guess, I don't really remember. He used to give me gifts all the time, there didn't need to be any specific reason…" He moved and replaced the box, the look on his face telling Rosaline everything as she carefully stood up.

"You loved him Ludwig… didn't you?"

* * *

Ludwig tensed slightly, one hand on Feliciano's music box while the other keeping himself balanced in the half leaned position he was in at the moment. He felt his grip tighten, his gaze resting on the music box as he felt a soft hand laid on his tense shoulders. "That's why you've been acting so weird lately, did me wearing his collar trigger something?"

Ludwig hadn't even thought about that, all he knew was that he had felt oddly strange during that party, he didn't know that she had caught onto his attitude at the time. He knew that her presence meant that Feliciano was dead, was that the reason why he felt so odd about her? Why he felt so protective over her? Did he think of her as Feliciano all over again?

"I'm sorry about my behavior at the party, I was just thrown aback when I saw you dressed in that. Yes, it did bring back memories, God I have to admit that most of what you do brings back memories Rosaline. You act like him, speak like him, sometimes I think you think like him. Sometimes when I see you in my peripheral vision I think that it is him." He started to ramble on, his body moving towards the floor as he sat down, his eyes never leaving the music box above him as he struggled to fight back tears. "I've been having these dreams. Every night I dream about him, I dream about twisted memories of us and I don't know why. I know he's gone and your presence confirms it, but a part of me is still hopeful. A part of me craves him. Feliciano was such a good man, so kind and wise..."

Ludwig tensed up when he felt arms wrap around his neck, his head spun around and he looked to Rosaline who was now tightly hugging him with all she had in her. It almost made him smile feeling the pressure of arms around his neck once more, the feeling of Rosaline's head pressing into his shoulder the same way Feliciano's used to do when he was scared or sad. "I'm sorry I bring these things up in you Ludwig… I honestly wish I could have met Feliciano, people tell me how amazing he was and... I wish I could have met him. I could tell from those photos he was loved by many…"

A smile came to his face, Ludwig faintly chuckling and nodding his head. "Oh, I know how much he loved everyone, me especially… I'm sorry I've been so distant lately, with the dreams and everything I haven't been myself…" He murmured, his body moving and positioning himself so the two were hugging each other tightly now. Rosaline's head rested against his shoulder, the German unable to tell what she could possibly be thinking as his hand started to move up and down her back, a calming technique he learned from dealing with Feliciano. "I can tell you more stories about him if you want, he was a pain in the ass sure but he was a good person and you deserve to know about him…" He leaned back, using his thumb to gently wipe a few tears away from Rosaline's cheek as he let a small smile escape from him. "I know we aren't being at all productive like we had planned but I think this is important, it's important to know who you are filling in for." Before even thinking Ludwig felt himself lean down, his lips pressing against the tearful girl's forehead before a blush scored across his face and he harshly turned his face away. "Sorry, it's a force of habit from Feliciano."  
"It's no problem, it was warm… Tell me more about him please, what was he like? What did he like and do?" He felt her shift out of his arms, following in suit with a faint smile as he pushed himself to his feet. "Let's get some food first, I haven't eaten yet today and I'm hungry. We can talk while we eat." He explained, watching Rosaline as she stood up and gave an excited nod of her head. "Maybe I can make you something, let's see what you have in your fridge…"  
Ludwig watched her disappear and shook his head, memories flooding him with a sudden burst of tears that he quickly wiped away. This is why he'd been in a rut lately, it felt good to get these feelings off of his chest. She reminded him of Feliciano, that's all, that's why he had such strong feelings for her.

Ludwig shook his head when he heard Rosaline yelling about the lack of food in his fridge, laughing slightly as he stood up and placed the photo of him and Feliciano propped up against the music box.

That was all, the memories were making him feel this way about Rosaline.

* * *

It was nearly ten o'clock at night when Rosaline left Ludwig's apartment, walking down a deserted stretch of road with Ludwig at her side and Noodle pulling him ahead just a few feet in front of them. Rosaline had insisted that she could walk herself home but Ludwig ended up winning the argument, insisting that he had to take Noodle for a walk. The night was quite cold and dark as they walked down the street, laughing and smiling as they joked and told stories about themselves and others that seemed relevant for the time. Noodle could care less what they were talking about, sniffing and running ahead to get the next great smell in the patches of grass beside the sidewalk.

Rosaline's rental was only a few blocks from Ludwig's apartment, taking them only a measly twenty minutes to walk from one place to the other without interruption and only a few laughing stops. It felt good to be hanging out with Ludwig, she felt as if the world was off her shoulders for the time being as they nearly rolled their way down the hill towards her rental. Rosaline unlocked the door and turned back to Ludwig, both of them smiling at each other for a few brief moments as Ludwig pulled Noodle away from the door. "You know you can always come over to my apartment and study or work. I can even give you a spare key if you want to use my apartment as a safe space, I remember how mean Monika is to you…"

"Oh I made up with Monika; I finally told them about what we are and they were really understanding, thank god. But I would like that, Alfred is usually having some kind of party and it makes it very hard to do much work…" She stood in the doorway with Ludwig stepping a bit closer, her heart starting to faintly race as she turned her head away and from the corner of her eye watched Ludwig awkwardly rub the back of his neck. She turned back to him and looked up towards him, catching his eyes for a few brief moments and smiled.

"Thank you for opening up to me today, you've always seemed very mysterious to me…not a bad mysterious, I guess more of a misunderstanding almost…" Rosaline felt her cheeks heat up as the German seemed to move closer to her, she grabbed ahold of the door to keep her balance while waving off the concern Ludwig showed from her almost toppling over. "I'm fine, just tired that's all. I'll come over again sometime, maybe then we'll actually get work done and Noodle won't keep me distracted!" She felt Ludwig's gaze on her as she bent down, rubbing the German Shepherds ears and giving the dog a few kisses on the head.

"Want to come over tomorrow Rosaline? Gilbert will probably be gone or in his room-"

"I'm sorry I can't." Rosaline stood back up, leaning against the doorway and giving the confused looking German above her a smile. "I'm going out on a lunch date with Francis sometime in the afternoon."

* * *

Ludwig felt his heart almost immediately sink when he heard Rosaline's response, she was going on a date with Francis?! He thought they were just friends, he thought he heard her call him her 'Gay Best Friend' a few times. "Oh, that sounds fun. Well if you want to stop by afterward you're always free to, I'll get that spare apartment key for you to put on your keychain…" He stammered out while his grip on Noodle's leash tightened slightly, trying to hide the disappointment and confusion from his tone of voice... He fucked up, God why did he go for a kiss?! The look on her face, it had seemed so natural to him to kiss goodbye because of Feliciano…

"Sounds great, it won't be until late but I'll have Francis drop me off at your apartment once we're done. Good Night Ludwig!"  
Before he knew it Rosaline had shut the door leaving him and Noodle out in the crisp winter air, he stepped back and faintly groaned at his stupidity. He had to stop doing that, he had to get rid of old habits that he did with Feliciano. Rosaline didn't want to cuddle and kiss the way Feliciano had so desperately wanted, Rosaline wasn't solely dependent on him like Feliciano was… it was so surreal that this girl who looked completely like his Feliciano was half of the time the exact opposite from the goofball he once loved.

Ludwig turned to start his trek back up the hill when he realized they had an audience, looking up the hill he could see the lazy smoke of a cigarette swirling above Francis' head as the Frenchman sipped his wine. Francis seemed to keep his gaze on Ludwig. Taking a drag of his cigarette and blowing more smoke into the night air. Had Francis been watching this entire time? He connected eyes with the Frenchman, frown deepening as Francis gave a faint wave of his wine glass in greeting. Francis had been acting weird towards him lately, was he jealous of him? Was that why he was going on a dinner date with Rosaline?

Ludwig hurried up the side of the hill to avoid Francis' gaze, his body felt on fire after the stares he had received. He felt attacked. He felt like the Frenchman had bore down into his own soul, a feeling that he had never experienced before. Noodle was even looking up at Ludwig, a whimper coming from her at the hurried way Ludwig let her up the hill and down the empty streets. He felt like he had to keep looking behind him as he walked home, no one had ever given him such a feeling before. The only time he had ever felt that way was the dream from the previous night, maybe he would have to do some research on the Holy Roman Empire. But the thought of Francis just wouldn't leave his mind, it swirled around and the paranoia even caused Noodle to take notice and whine.

He just didn't get it, what was wrong with Francis?

* * *

Rosaline locked her front door and leaned against it, her head resting back against the door as a heavy sigh escaped from her. At least she knew why he was being weird, it wasn't the reason she wanted but at least she knew.

He felt that way about her because she reminded him of Feliciano, she should have known that was the case. Francis did warn her after all, thinking about the conversations she had with the Frenchman since the Halloween party she recognized that Francis was trying to steer her away from any feelings towards Ludwig in general. She couldn't help but feel sad about it, over the months she had started to crush on the German a little but now…

She didn't need Ludwig. No, she didn't need him at all!

Rosaline stood up and marched her way into her bedroom, tossing her bag onto her bed while pulling out her desk chair. She would just be friends with Ludwig, she had enough self-control. She perked up when she saw her phone light up, watching Francis' profile picture light up the screen as a faint smile came to her face. Francis always knew when to call, he always knew when she needed cheering up. "Francis! Hey! I can't wait to go out tomorrow…" She said cheerfully, sitting next to her window while blissfully unaware of the interaction that had just occurred outside moments before.

Ludwig would only be her friend and that was final.


	9. Jealousy

Then

Ludwig could hear the frustration in Feliciano's voice as he whispered quietly to the Italian, his eyes focusing on the ornate doorway he was standing under as he heard Feliciano continue his speech through the phone. "Why couldn't I go to these meetings?! I'm a part of this alliance Ludwig, in case you forgot. Which you clearly did!"  
A sigh left the German as he gently shook his head, a hand moving carefully to his temples and massaging them as he lowered his phone briefly. He was in Japan for a few weeks on co-national business, business that forced a not-so-happy Feliciano to stay home alone. Feliciano didn't seem to be the jealous type to Ludwig but his behavior the past week said otherwise, Feliciano was being ridiculous! The Italian called every night, more than usual, and would complain about Ludwig being alone with Kiku or press Ludwig about what they did during that day. It was starting to get on Ludwig's nerves. "Feliciano. This is business between Japan and I, nothing that you need to be a part of or even worry about."

"You've been gone for nearly three weeks Ludwig, shouldn't you be done with whatever you're doing?! I miss you…" Feliciano's voice whined through the phone, Ludwig slightly shaking his head in frustration. Why was Feliciano acting like this?! He never used to complain when he would visit Kiku before they were dating, what had changed now?

"Feliciano, I miss you too, but I need to get this trade deal done with Kiku before midnight-"

"You're always spending time with Kiku lately!" Feliciano snapped in return, Ludwig actually pausing and glancing down at his phone briefly in surprise. "You're never home Ludwig, how am I supposed to feel about that?!"

"You'll be alright for another couple of days Feliciano, I love you okay? I have to go, Kiku is calling me." Ludwig whispered into the phone once he heard footsteps, he heard a frustrated sigh come through the phone and a small "Fine." come from Feliciano before the Italian hung up the line.

Ludwig pocketed his phone after staring at it for a few moments, shaking his head and giving Kiku a weak smile. "It was Feliciano, I'm sorry about that."

"Feliciano? What did he need?" Kiku questioned as Ludwig walked past, the German keeping his eyes forward and gaze averted from the Japanese man as he reapproached the futon.

"He was telling me about a cute cat, that's all. He said he will send pictures for me to show you later."

"A cute cat? What strange timing." Kiku responded, Ludwig watching him settle himself back down with his cup of tea and looking to his own full cup with a perturbed look across his features.

"Yeah… strange…"

-

Now

Rosaline ducked her way into the diner, avoiding large droplets of water that were falling from the awnings while shedding her baby blue parka off as quickly as she could to avoid the moisture from the heavy rainfall she had just come in from. The warm diner seemed to accept her with open arms, the warmth of the building itself, and a bright smile catching her gaze from across the room caused her a faint rush of glee. Francis stood and gave her a hug once she approached, the two embracing for a few moments extra as she felt a lot of her stress float away. School was kicking her ass like usual, that and all of the work that was piling on top of her as a nation was definitely causing unwanted amounts of chaos in her life, so it was good to sit down for one day with a friend. She settled in the chair Francis had pulled out for her, eyes watching Francis who returned to his own chair and lowered his laptop back into his side bag. "I was just doing some work before you showed up, nation stuff, don't worry about it." She was assured, Rosaline in turn giving him a sweet smile and picking up the menu in front of her. She was starving.

"How has school been?" Francis questioned her once the two had ordered, Rosaline lifting her eyes for a brief moment before shaking her head. "I have been struggling lately, not with the classes but with how much I have to get done. Lovino keeps giving me more and more responsibilities, which I know I should be getting used to, but it is a little much with all of my college work." She explained, watching Francis whose eyes lifted to meet hers. The two stared at each other for a brief moment, she knew the french man was studying her tired expression but could only manage a small smile in an attempt to keep him from worrying. "I promise I'm okay though, the semester ends in a few weeks, and then I'm going home with Lovino and Ludwig to celebrate Christmas..."  
"Rosaline. Please just rest for a moment, take a deep breath." Francis whispered, a hand reaching over and gently enclosing over her tightened fist on the table. "You don't have to explain anything to me, I understand how tired you must be. All I can say is don't overwork yourself, it will come back to bite you, trust me, I know."

Rosaline refused to look up at him, she wanted to believe what he was saying but she knew she needed to get everything done. She needed to rise up to her position as a nation, she did have big shoes to fill after all. She went to respond, opening her mouth faintly to protest as their orders were brought to the table prompting silence between the two. The silence lingered between the two as they sipped their respective drinks, Rosaline the first to put down her mug and lean towards him rather slowly, stopping herself when she saw Francis' dementor fall just slightly. The look he made when she just mentioned spending time with Ludwig caused the inner pit in her stomach to twist and leap in uncomfortable ways, causing her to stay quiet as Francis sat his own mug down.  
"Rosaline. There are some things I can tell you about that man, things that would make a grown man vomit. But I know you work with him so I'm not going to tell you, I just want to warn you. Be careful around him."  
Rosaline felt a sense of curiosity grow on her as she thought, were these things Ludwig had done in wars? In his personal life? She honestly felt ready to burst at this information as the clinking of the spoon in Francis' drink brought her back to reality, the Frenchman watching her before sitting back. "Your question the other night. Why is Ludwig so special? It's because we honestly don't know where he came from, he wasn't born or created, he just showed up one day with Gilbert. I've never trusted him since." She listened to Francis continue, eyes widening as she stared at her food with a fleeting appetite.

"Ludwig can't be bad, right? I mean, he's super kind and awkward towards me at least. He-"  
"...misses Feliciano?" Francis echoed Rosaline causing her to cringe rather hard, she refused to raise her gaze as Francis leaned in rather close from across the table. "Don't you think there was a reason why Feliciano gave up his nationality? I don't want to speak ill of the… dead… but he wasn't the same after getting together with Ludwig. As your dearest friend Rosaline I honestly recommend keeping your relationship with Ludwig strictly professional, don't give him your interest. He isn't interested in you, he wants what you represent."

Rosaline's mouth grew dry and she felt like vomiting as she stared towards Francis, her head slowly turning in a curt shake of her head. She couldn't, wouldn't believe that the man who had broken down in front of her could be so ruthless. Francis didn't seem bothered by her reaction either, instead, pouring some sugar into his mug and giving her a smile that turned her stomach. "I know who is interested in you, Matthew has been asking for your number nonstop since the shopping trip. He may be a little shy but my little Mattie is a wonderful person who I recommend you talk to, I took the liberty of writing down his number for you somewhere…"  
The words droned out as Rosaline stared at her coffee, she had told herself that she didn't need Ludwig but just hearing the idea that Ludwig was using her was fairly crushing. Why did she feel like this? Why did it bother her that Ludwig didn't have that much of an interest in her?

She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and she stood up suddenly, she had to go. She was presenting for the first time today at a mini-summit planned at the World Tower, she wanted to go over her slides with Monika and Saki one last time before having to leave for the meeting. "I'm so sorry I have to cut this short Francis, I have to go…" She apologized and pulled on her coat, Francis giving her a faint smile and a wave of his hand. "Go along I understand, but please promise me you'll at least text Matthew."

She took the slip of paper and put it in her pocket, giving him an awkward smile as she made a slight promise to message Matthew. She was unsure if she was actually going to do it but that didn't matter at the moment as she gave the Frenchman a tight hug, making her way towards the exit rather quickly with the slip of paper clutched in her fist.

Rosaline didn't know how to feel in that moment, no matter how much she told herself she didn't need Ludwig the feelings would always come back with every interaction she had with the man. Ludwig made her feel good, he could be an ass at times of major stress but he always made up for those rough patches with food or other gifts. Those moments of insecurity she saw in him, the kiss he had tried to give her the night prior, were they a trap? Was he giving her a false sense of security for manipulation purposes?

She pulled out her phone once she got in the car to stare at his message, opening up her other hand and unraveling the slip of paper with her fingers. She typed in the number into her contacts, sending a 'Hey, it's Rosaline.' with a smiley face emoji. She didn't see any harm in talking to Matthew, it wasn't like she was in a relationship with Ludwig or anything of the sorts.

She just needed a distraction.

-

The summit had gone surprisingly smoothly that day, the first time that had ever occurred in Ludwig's recollection of summits he'd attended in the past centuries. Everyone was polite and quiet, greeting each other with friendly smiles and listening quietly to the young Italian girl who gave a presentation on the state of Northern Italy at the time. "I hope to go back in the winter to visit." He remembered her commenting, a bright smile across her features at the seeming thought of going back to her home. She had mixed personal commentary with the facts in her presentation, while not rare was a wonderful addition to her interaction with the other nations and her country. Rosaline had come far since she first stumbled into their meeting room, she had definitely grown since her confrontation with Francis months prior, it definitely had been a process but based on how comfortable she felt in front of the summit Ludwig could tell she was doing fine. There was a round of applause for her and the meeting was put on pause for a break, declared rather abruptly by Alfred who said he was starving. Ludwig pushed his chair out from under him slowly, his blue eyes scanning the room for Rosaline as he felt a hand pull him back rather slightly. He went to protest but stopped when he saw Gilbert's faint grin gleaming at him from a few feet away, the look on his brother's face causing a nervous reaction within him. The albino pulled Ludwig away, Ludwig not arguing and instead, hurrying after him as the two ended up in a side conference room just a few doors down from the summit hall. "Gilbert, what is the meaning of this? Why did you pull me out of there so quickly?" Ludwig hissed out as Gilbert placed a hand on his hip in return, the albino cocking his head in a questioning sort of way. "Lud, you tried to KISS Rosaline last night?!"  
Ludwig felt himself grow pale as his gaze flickered to the side, the tinge of blush being the only color on his cheeks as Gilbert shook his head. "Francis told you huh?"  
"Of course, what were you thinking?! I know you have a thing for Rosaline but you went in for a kiss?! Do you have no common sense, Bruder?" Gilbert responded, the hard look across his features causing Ludwig to immediately become confused. Why was Gilbert so angry about this, he opened his mouth to protest but Gilbert's hand shot up to silence him. He felt his cheeks burn at his brother's look, the look he had gotten so many times as a child for doing something wrong.

Had it been wrong for him to kiss Rosaline? She was a rather attractive girl and had a good head on her shoulders as well, he knew that other nations felt the same as well, why was it so bad that he had made a move on her?  
Ludwig watched as Gilbert sighed out, the eldest giving a tender shake of his head when he didn't receive a response from the german. "Lud, listen to me. I know it's been a long time since Feliciano disappeared, you're lonely and I get that, but times are different now. A lot of nations blamed you for Feliciano's death and now a lot of nations are worried now that you and Rosaline are becoming too close, they don't want another Feliciano." Ludwig felt a momentary surge of anger, he felt his tense body step away from his brother as tight fists began to form. "They all are fools and should mind their own business, my feelings are not international affairs."  
"They are when it comes to Rosaline. Listen, I love her to death too, Ludwig, she's an incredible person, but you have to be careful. Love is like war little brother, you have to pick and choose worthy fights. Are you fighting for the right cause?" Ludwig's gaze snapped to Gilbert who settled himself down on a couch, their eyes connecting for a brief moment of silence before the other hesitantly continued. "Do you like Rosaline for Rosaline, or do you like her because she reminds you of Feliciano?"

It was only a few seconds after Gilbert had asked the question that the door swung open, both heads turning to see Rosaline standing at the door, seemingly clueless to the serious conversations as she walked in. "There you two are, I have been looking everywhere for you two!" There was a bounce in her step, a cute gait that tugged at Ludwig's heartstrings as she approached them with hands behind her back. "Matthew and I were going to go get a quick coffee, do you both want anything?" His eyes flickered up to see the Canadian man in the doorway, a frog forming in his throat as a bit of anger burned inside of him.  
"No thank you, Rosaline, Ludwig was telling me about a date he's going on tonight," Gilbert exclaimed from around Ludwig, not giving Ludwig any time to answer as the girls head cocked and a bright smile came from her. "Oh? That's wonderful Ludwig, you'll have to tell me about it later! I can't believe you didn't tell me earlier, you sly dog!"  
Ludwig felt sick in his stomach as he stammered to form a single word, all he could manage was a 'thanks' as he watched Rosaline turn and rush back over to the Canadian. The two giving each other a smile as they walked out of the room, a warm and sweet smile that caused Ludwig to feel sick.

"Huh, didn't expect that," Gilbert told him with a slight shake of his head, Ludwig feeling numb inside as his brother walked towards the door with a small smile. "At least she doesn't have Feliciano's jealousy, that's a major plus. I know you tried to hide it Bruder, but I never liked how clingy Feliciano really was… I'm going back out to the meeting room, think about what I said, Ludwig."  
Ludwig sunk into the couch once he heard the door click close, burying his head into his hands while his thoughts ran wild. He had expected some slight change in emotion, even a hint of jealousy to come from her. All she did was smile, she was happy for him to be going on a date, did that mean she didn't like him? If he had even smiled at the wrong person Feliciano would have-

His blood ran cold as he struck his own cheek rather quickly, covering the stinging cheek afterward and closing his eyes. He took a heavy breath and fought back the temptation he had to scream out his frustrations, to break every piece of furniture in the room.

That's right, stupid Ludwig, she wasn't Feliciano.

-

Rosaline glanced back at the building slightly, a faint frown across her features as she felt Matthew's hand guide her across the street to a small cafe for coffee. She felt happy that Ludwig was going on a date, sure, but she couldn't help but think of the look in his gaze as he stepped towards her the night before. Deep inside herself, she had screamed at herself for pulling away, but her rational thought kept urging her that the feelings would pass. She only had a stupid crush on a friend, a business partner, her dead brother's lover.

Her thoughts snapped back to the present as she was pulled onto the sidewalk, a taxi racing past them within moments of striking her. Rosaline looked up and was surprised to see Matthew's soft eyes only mere inches from hers, a heavy blush formed across her cheeks as the two stepped away from each other with awkward smiles and laughs. "Thanks, Matthew, people in this city don't know how to drive…" She stammered as the Canadian only let out a faint laugh, both moving away from the edge of the road and towards the coffee shop once more. "I know, it's not the first time it's happened. Trust me."

Rosaline smiled faintly as Matthew offered his arm to her, reaching over and allowing her arm to wrap around his so they walked arm and arm into the shop together.

In that instant, standing in line and chatting with Matthew, she reminded herself that she didn't need Ludwig. The smile that Matthew gave her as he looked to her caused her heart to lightly flutter, a smile replacing the faint tinge of jealousy she had felt moments before as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

She didn't need Ludwig, Ludwig was only a friend to her. Matthew, however, the more she hung out with him, the more she realized how much she was beginning to like him.

-

Hello my darlings! I'm back after a long hiatus, I promise more is to come!

Thank you so much, if you enjoyed please bookmark and comment! I've also been coming up with other ideas as well, send me any ideas y'all may have as well!

Hasta-la-pasta!

-Dais


	10. Stress

Then

It didn't take long before the sniffling and muffled sobs that echoed throughout the house drew Ludwig to one of the many rooms scattered along adjacent hallways to his own guest bedroom, approaching and pressing his ear against the doorway he could hear the quiet cries of the Italian from inside growing louder. He didn't really understand much of what had happened in the past few hours, though oftentimes he could hardly understand the Italian, to begin with. This all had started after the two had gotten into a silly argument, things grew very heated between them and it ended with Ludwig yelling at Feliciano. He didn't understand why his reaction was so different today; usually, any mild arguments were broken up by the two going into separate rooms, making up within a few hours with mild kisses and eventually some kind of sexual intercourse. Today, however, the argument led the two of them to furiously scream at each other, calling each other names and eventually leading with Feliciano storming off to his bedroom. Ludwig had been very fortunate that Kiku was there at the time to hold him back, the two of them sitting rather tense in the kitchen as the German calmed himself down enough to attempt to speak with the Italian.

Ludwig knocked once, the crying from inside stopping, and the air growing deathly still as he knocked once more. "Feliciano. Let me in this instant! I want to speak about this, now."

The faint sound of Feliciano whispering for him to go away caused his blood to boil faintly, why wasn't the Italian listening to him?! If he listened more properly they wouldn't have been in this mess, the three of them instead would be downstairs drinking tea and enjoying dinner! Ludwig went to go hit the door but a hand grasping his fist stopped him, his eyes flickering down to Kiku who frowned ever so faintly up towards him. "I thought you had calmed down, I must have been mistaken. Come."

Ludwig had the height and weight advantage on Kiku for sure, he could easily tackle the Japanese man to the ground without hesitation if he wanted, but the commanding tone in Kiku's voice was enough to make him listen. The two men made their way back down the stairs and were soon settled into their respective chairs, Kiku taking his time to sip at his tea while Ludwig just glared at his own folded hands on the table. The silence between them was deafening, Ludwig felt as if he were a naughty child sitting in wait for some punishment, not the best of feelings as his eyes met with Kiku's steady gaze.

"Ludwig…" Kiku began once his cup was placed back on the table, folding his hands in a similar way to Ludwig's own as his eyes studied him with an unusual sense of calm. There was a moment of silence, most likely Kiku thinking of what he was going to say next before the man continued. "I've known you for many years now, as an ally, and as a friend, during that time I have learned much about you and your mannerisms. Which is why the only piece of advice I can give you now is to be Ludwig, not Germany." Ludwig felt a laugh escape from his throat, one of confusion but also amusement at the thought. He had no idea what Kiku meant, how could he be only one part of his identity if both were what made him whole? He could only find the strength to shake his head, faintly giving Kiku a smile as he stood up. "Has the opium gotten to you too Kiku?" He ignored Kiku's scowl for once as he walked back towards the hallway, pausing for a moment and turning his gaze back on the man still sitting at the table. "Whatever the case may be Feliciano is just tense because of the upcoming war, I know he doesn't want to go to war but he has no choice. He will get over it soon…" He turned away, feeling the burn of Kiku's gaze on his back as he made his way back down the hallway. His fists coming together once more as he finally stopped a few feet from the doorway where Feliciano stood, teary-eyed and staring rather sadly as he moved rather slowly towards the tense German. 

"He always does."

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now

"I know we have never seen eye to eye, the thought of the former Allied Forces and the former Axis Powers coming together for something so monumental seems… quite strange… But here we are now, we must make the most of it… for Rosaline's sake…"

Ludwig couldn't help but roll his eyes as Alfred spoke from the other side of the table, his gaze moving blankly to Arthur whose eyes just seemed angrily overturned at the idea of the two parties coming together. They were civil during meetings and day-to-day interactions but there had always been a level of distrust between the former world powers, especially towards him, but now the severity of the situation was forcing them to come together in an attempt to solve a pressing issue.

Not global warming or anything major like that, the issue of Rosaline's sudden disappearance.

They technically couldn't call it missing because they knew exactly where she was, but the fact that no one had seen her in days was starting to become worrisome. Ludwig himself even began to grow concerned with the lack of communication, receiving fewer and fewer messages from Rosaline as the weeks went by. He had been worried that it was because of his brother's stupid lie until Alfred called the meeting, soon understanding most of the situation as the nations around him chatted.  
"So far most of us have had minimal contact with Rosaline, she's been locking herself in her house for days." Alfred jabbed a finger at the screen behind him, a poorly taken photo of a window showing the faint outline of Rosaline typing away at her computer. "We have to figure out why she's been so occupied, maybe we can easily give some of her workloads to Lovino-"

"Are you really that dense?" A voice chirped from the end of the table, Ludwig's gaze moving towards the two female figures who sat adjacent to where the nations were seated. Alfred had invited Monika and Saki as insights into Rosaline's personal life, though both girls seemed equally annoyed as they stared towards the nations. Monika went to say something else but was stopped by Saki who tugged gently at her arm, standing from her chair with a deep breath. "Sorry about her, Monika meant that more as a question of whether any of you know what time of year it is?"

From the corner of his eye, Ludwig saw Matthew go to say something but Alfred beat him to it, slamming his fist down with a face of recognition. "It's almost Christmas-!"  
"No you twat!" Arthur was next to speak up, crossing his arms while placing his nose rather cockily in the air. "It's the end of their semester, meaning she is most likely completing final papers or projects."  
"You should know, I've seen you come by quite a few times in the past weeks…" Monika's voice rang out over the crowd. Ludwig turned his head abruptly at the accusation only to feel his heart sink rapidly as the finger pointed a few nations down from Arthur, Matthew's cheeks heating up faintly as he stood up. "I went over a few times, yes, as I've been trying to say, she also shared her finals calendar with me so we could possibly get an idea of what she's working on."

Ludwig heard Lovino grumbling to his right about not being informed about a calendar and couldn't help but frown as well, feeling rather disgruntled at the idea of not being made aware of such a thing as the calendar in question was brought up on the screen. It was a beautifully laid calendar, it could have been adjusted in a few ways but to Ludwig, it was a fairly well organized daily schedule compared to a few he'd seen from other countries in the room.

"With how much Rose has been doing in terms of classes and her other business, she's had to physically schedule times in to eat and shower," Monika explained with a crossing of her arms, though Ludwig could see the worried expression in her gaze as she stared at the calendar projected across from her. "She isn't in the best of states right now, one little hiccup in her schedule makes her breakdown. I don't know how many times we've heard her sobbing because she fell asleep or something of the sorts… it's starting to really bother us now. It's not healthy."

"That's why we need to get her outside to do something else besides writing papers and studying whatever the hell it is she's studying for, tomorrow is the start of the weekend and it looks like she has nothing planned." Alfred used his finger to trace the empty looking weekend before pointing at Matthew with a grin, "Matt, you will get her out and to wherever we decide to take her."

"Shouldn't we try to get in contact with her first? Lovino is her brother after all?" Ludwig spoke up rather slowly, the only attention he was given was from Francis who leaned over. It was almost a cat-like smile Ludwig was given as the two connected eyes, Francis sipping his wine and shaking his head. "Eh? You haven't been the one who's been talking with her lately, right? She would most likely respond to Matthew, considering how much they've been talking lately… Matthew! Your phone!"

The focus of everyone turned to Matthew's vibrating phone, the group scattering out of frame as Matthew picked up the phone and answered the facetime to a rather pale looking Rosaline. From what he could see Rosaline looked like hell, dark circles ran under her eyes and her eyes seemed strained from staring at a screen. It was like staring at a zombie, something he never really saw from any other nation besides during times of war. She sniffled faintly as if finishing sobbing as her gaze rested on Matthew, the tired and stressed look on her face causing a fist to form at Ludwig's side as she began to speak.

_____________________________________________________

"I'm sorry I didn't call you on time, I fell asleep at my desk again Maple…" Rosaline wiped her aching eyes and glanced around her mess of a room, she hoped that he couldn't see how unkempt she looked but based on his expression she knew that he could. She couldn't help it; between the projects she had due, the tests she had to take, and the reports she had due to Ludwig she had little time for self-care. She just sat at her desk, eyes shifting between mounds of books and the screen for hours on end, only resting when Monika and Saki yelled at her to eat.

"Rosé, listen, I think you should take the weekend off. We can hang out, do something to take your mind off of your work for a while. The history of the black death can wait, you need to look at something besides a computer screen for a little while." Matthew's voice echoed in her ears, the nickname causing her cheeks to become faintly rosy. In private, Matthew called her Rosé and she called him Maple, both cute nicknames they had decided one day while getting ice cream. The parlor had been offering different flavored slushies that day as well, one Rosé flavored and one maple-flavored, they found it so funny that the nicknames just seemed to stick ever since.

The more she listened to him speak, however, the more he made sense. She needed to take a break, she hated the idea of leaving her projects for a day but she knew she needed to stop, if she didn't she was going to end up popping a blood vessel or something. "What do you have planned, Maple?"

"A small get together at Al's, wine coolers, face masks, ice cream, and Disney. Maybe we'll invite a few friends, just something simple to refresh you." The excited look across Matthew's face caused her to almost giggle, they had talked about having a movie night for a while but schedule conflicts always prevented them from getting together, the idea of being able to do it now sounded refreshing.

"Let's do it then, it's a date."

___________________________________________________________

There was a quiet sigh of relief that came over the crowd of nations when Rosaline agreed to the movie night, Ludwig being too focused on the recent interactions to be as relieved as the others. They had nicknames, they had their own thing, he knew it wouldn't be long before they actually began to fully date. The thought made his stomach twist to the point of sickness, he pushed himself from his chair and was quick to exit the room before anyone else could say anything otherwise. He found his way into the bathroom and began to splash water over his face, nearly jumping when a soft hand touched his shoulder from behind.

"Ludwig-"  
"Kiku don't start lecturing, please, I'm not really in the mood," Ludwig whispered in response, his heart continuing to ache as he felt Kiku grab his wrist. He tried to pull out of it, to flee into the bitterness within his mind but found that Kiku's grip was iron tight. "I won't lecture you, I can tell how much distress you are in right now, just hear me out for a second."  
Ludwig stopped and the two men stared at each other for a few brief moments, the tension rising between the two as Kiku released his wrist. "I know you have feelings for Rosaline Ludwig, I think everyone but Rosaline knows at this point. I'm not saying that your feelings aren't valid but you don't want to come off too strong, if you push her away for experimenting with others then she will push as well. You have to be her friend too, not just a potential love interest."

Ludwig looked away in shame, he knew he was overreacting to the whole Matthew thing but he couldn't help it. This was the first person he'd cared so deeply about in a long time, dare he even call his emotions towards Rosaline love, so seeing her be swept off her feet by another man wasn't sitting right with him. The more Kiku talked the more he began to understand, the more he began to realize how much a dick he was being. He was putting his want for a romantic relationship with Rosaline over their friendship, especially in a time where she needed him most. No wonder she was going off with Matthew, they sounded so happy and calm with each other in comparison to the awkward conversations Ludwig had been trying to start with her numerous times over the past few weeks. He needed to be there for her, even if he couldn't be the man for her he could still be her friend, her companion. He needed to put her feelings into account, not expect his view of the situation to be right.

"Now then, you will go to that party tonight and be as supportive as you possibly can. As Ludwig, not Germany."

Ludwig's eyes flickered to Kiku, both men giving each other a rather faint smile and a nod of the head. It was the least Ludwig could do to make the Italian girl feel better, maybe this was the push Ludwig needed to get past his feelings towards Rosaline. "You'll be going, right Kiku? I can't go there alone."

"Unfortunately I have my own business to attend to tomorrow tonight, family matters, I won't be attending. Please give this to Rosaline when you see her, she'll understand what to do with it once she opens it…" Ludwig watched Kiku pull an envelope from his pocket, taking it from the other man as his faint frown came across his face. He hadn't expected to go alone, considering he wasn't really the best of friends with anyone else who was going he always relied on Kiku for companionship to parties or other events. Yet the look Kiku gave him pushed down those nervous feelings, a faint smile returning once more as he pushed the envelope into his pocket. "I'll keep you update on how it goes, whose visiting this time?" He asked in amusement as he watched Kiku glide past, the man giving him a look of disdain before pushing the bathroom door open.

"All of them."

_________________________________________________________________________

It was getting dark as Ludwig pulled his car up alongside the street, staring at Alfred's full car park with a rather faint scowl. When Alfred had said he was inviting people Ludwig had thought it was a few close friends, not half of the world. He checked to ensure he wouldn't get ticketed for marking beside the house and grabbed a plastic bag from his passenger seat, checking to make sure none of his precious cargo had melted on the way over. Matthew had suggested before the meeting ended that everyone bring something to help cheer up Rosaline so Ludwig grabbed the only thing he could think of, much to Gilbert's dismay he raided the cabinets and gathered up as much Kinder as he could from their last visit home. Chocolate would be a nice gift, probably an unoriginal idea but no one could compare to his chocolate.

Alfred was the one to open the door, looking actually a bit surprised that Ludwig had actually shown up as he ushered him in and towards the living room. Despite the number of cars, there were really only a few nations scattered around the room, Antonio and Lovino quietly argued over an armchair in the corner of the room, Francis, Arthur and an empty spot where he assumed Alfred had been sitting sat on a long couch facing the tv. On the floor in front of the couch was a plethora of pillows scattered about, Rosaline sat beside Matthew with some comfortable clothes on and a green face, most likely a face mask of some sort. The Italian had been whispering something to Matthew when she saw Ludwig, her eyes lit up immediately upon seeing him and it warmed Ludwig's heart slightly the way she lept up and engulfed him in a tight hug. "I knew you'd be here, I can't believe you all planned this for me!"

Rosaline looked much better than she did on the phone the previous day, though the dark circles remained under her eyes she looked less tired, less like she wanted to die, and more the loving girl he had grown to know over the past months. Her hair was placed up in a messy bun, though a few strands of her hair poked out of the front and dipped into her mask that smelled vaguely of mint chocolate chip. "Are those for me?" Ludwig's attention focused on the plastic bag being tugged out of his grasp, presenting the chocolate to the now squealing Italian girl. "I love Kinder chocolate! When I was a girl my housekeeper always had some that he would give me, it would ruin my dinner but I always loved the taste!" The girl below him declared, Ludwig's smile growing a bit wider as he was given another tight hug by the girl. He had made the right choice, finally!

"Come join us, I saved a spot for you on the floor beside me. We'll get you in a mask and start watching our first movie, Snow White!"

Ludwig went along with it for a moment until the idea of a face mask hit him, "Mask?" He commented as he was lightly pushed to the ground, looking over to the already green-faced Matthew who sheepishly shrugged his shoulders as a response. It only took a few minutes until Rosaline finally settled between him and Matthew, the green goop across Ludwig's face feeling rather uncomfortable as he stared ahead at the tv. The lights dimmed and the rest of them grew silent as the movie started, Rosaline watching the movie intently and singing along with many of the songs. Ludwig had known that she was into Disney, but not to the extent he was seeing currently. It was nice seeing Rosaline enjoy herself, even if it was while holding hands with the Canadian beside her. The more he watched the more Ludwig had begun to get himself invested into the film as well, taking note of the differences between this adaptation and the many darker versions he was told as a child by Gilbert. He had rested his hand on one of the pillows, watching the wicked queen in her lair when he felt something warm brush against his fingers. His gaze turned to his hand and in the darkness, he was Rosaline's hand rest on top of his, her grip tightening rather faintly as the scene with the wicked witch escalated. Ludwig held his breath for a moment as Rosaline's gaze rested against his, the two holding the gaze for a few minutes before looking back towards the tv screen. Her hand never pulled away, not even after the recognition that the two were holding hands or after a large blanket was draped around the three of them. Ludwig felt a minor sharp pain in his back, most likely from the shoe of a certain Frenchman behind him, but for the first time in a while, he didn't care. He moved closer to Rosaline, savoring every second he had with her hand clutching tightly onto his.

After a few movies Rosaline decided to call it a night, they had just finished Bambi and she could barely keep her eyes open at that point. She sat up from where she had begun to slump on Matthew, apologizing to Arthur whose legs were practically numb at that point from her sitting in front of him. She helped clean up the pillows scattered about the room at that point, listening to Alfred complain of how he could never wash out the chocolate stains with a faint smile.

Rosaline had been struggling over the past few weeks, she had told herself that she was locking herself away until all of her work was done and hadn't realized how much harm she had been doing towards herself. She didn't realize how dead she looked until she had come up that morning, Francis pampering her to her heart's content throughout the entire day while she talked with Matthew. Now that her face felt refreshed and her heart was full of love towards the men around her she was confident that she'd get her work done, she was also making sure to schedule self-care days with the boys more often.

She had just went to slip on her shoes to make the trek down the hill when she felt a hand tap her shoulder, turning to discover Ludwig with an envelope held out to her. "Kiku apologizes for his absence, he had a family event tonight, but he wanted me to give you this…" She looked from Ludwig to the envelope, taking it and ripping the side off to discover an invitation.

==================================================================================================

Rosaline,

I'm sorry I couldn't attend this event, I am hosting family from out of town and I couldn't reschedule.

Please come to my house your next day off, I would like to spend the day with you to make up for my absence. The address is 10 Wickemer Road, you'll be able to tell which house it is.  
Ask Yao for a ride if you need one, he lives next door and owes me a favor.

Best wishes.

Honda Kiku (本田菊)

===================================================================================================

Rosaline was surprised by the invitation, all of the interactions she'd ever had with Kiku had been in the presence of Ludwig or other nations, she'd never spent time alone with the quiet man.  
"What did he say?" Ludwig's voice caused her to jump a little, she looked up and held up the invitation for him to see. She watched Ludwig read the invitation and frowned at his shrug, "Kiku is always mysterious like that, don't fret as much. You know him, just be respectful and keep out of his personal space."  
"I know that, should I bring him something? As in a gift?" She couldn't help but frown as she stuffed the invitation in her purse, shaking her head rapidly and giving a wave of her hand. "I'll figure it out, it's late, Noodles is probably missing you…" Rosaline watched Ludwig turn to leave but then lurched forward, grabbing his hand tightly and pulling him into a tight hug. "Thank you for coming…" She murmured to the german who she could feel had tensed up, her eyes drifting up to look at the confused expression he was now giving her. She felt her heart flutter in that instant, her hand lightly giving his hand a squeeze as she stepped away. "I almost forgot to ask you, Lovino and I are traveling to Italy before Christmas. I was wondering if you'd want to go with us before going home for the holidays? I'm guessing you haven't been there since…"  
"I'll go." Ludwig was quick to respond, almost surprising her as he pulled his hand back towards him. "I never got the chance to get some of my things from the Vargas mansion, I'll grab them while I'm there."

"Right…" Rosaline smiled as she watched the German pull on his coat, giving a wave and another brief smile as the German headed out the front door. She didn't want to feel disappointed that Ludwig wouldn't be spending time with her, she didn't want to seem upset over the man's sudden response so she just smiled. That's what she was taught to do by her housekeeper, smile as to not give them a reason to be concerned, smile, and worry about your feelings later.

"Rosé?" Rosaline pulled herself back and looked to Matthew who gave her a faint smile, watching as he motioned towards the back door. "I'll walk you home before I leave, okay?"

Rosaline didn't answer the request, only pulling on her coat and giving him another smile as they stepped out onto the back deck to head towards the house. She kept her hand in the warmth of his hands, eyes lifting to look at the night sky as she was led towards her rental. The night was beautiful, millions of stars glittered across the sky creating the perfect backdrop to what Rosaline thought was a wonderful evening. Once at the front door, the two gave awkward smiles, Matthew glancing at the side with a rueful smile. "I'm sorry I can't spend Christmas with you, Alfred is pretty strict about spending the holidays here with him…"  
"Oh it's no worries, Matthew, I wouldn't want to pull you from your family during the holidays…" Her voice trailed off when she saw Matthew leaning in, expecting a kiss on the lips but instead getting a peck on the top of the head. Rosaline's heart started to rapidly beat as she watched the Canadian pull away, a blush dusting her cheeks as she felt herself stand up on her tiptoes and plant a rather soft kiss on the other's lips.

"I didn't expect that Rosé…" Matthew was the first to speak, both staring at one another as Rosaline gave out a faint laugh in response. "Uh, sorry… I thought it was the right moment and-"

"You're starting to sound like me, apologizing so much." Rosaline shut up almost immediately as she was pulled into another tender kiss, both of them staying in that moment of embrace for a few seconds before pulling away. "After Christmas, do you want to try being a thing? I know this is so sudden and all, maybe we could take a trip to my hometown? Spend some more time together?" Matthew's voice filled her head but all she could do was faintly nod her head, resisting the urge to grab Matthew's arms once more after he pulled away. She watched him wave and sat good night, feeling her trembling figure push her away into the house after calling after him a loud 'good night'.

Once inside Rosaline was quiet to get around the house without waking the others, getting a drink, and retreating to her bedroom with her heart racing. She placed her glass of water down and flung herself onto her bed, pushing a pillow against her face and squealing as softly as she could.

She just kissed Matthew, she kissed Matthew and Matthew wanted to start dating after Christmas…

She pulled the pillow away from her face for a few moments, a seed of guilt rising for a moment in the pit of her stomach. What about Ludwig? She'd told herself numerous times that she didn't need him, that he was just a friend, but was that the truth? Was she being truthful with herself?

Rosaline moved over to her window seat, looking up she could see four figures out on Alfred's back porch. There was no doubt in her mind Alfred, Arthur, and Francis had seen them kiss, judging by Alfred's excited expressions and the way he badgered Matthew she knew they had seen.

She then saw something else that made her pause, she noticed that rather than looking at Matthew Francis had his gaze in the direction of the rental house, more specifically her window. The look on Francis' face made her feel nervous, like an extremely proud dad congratulating a child on their accomplishment. She thought it was foolish, the idea that he would have been looking at her until she saw him raise his wine glass towards her. The movement jolted her from the window seat and forcibly shutting her curtains, jumping back onto her bed she gave her pillow a tight squeeze and stared at the blackout curtains. She knew he'd been kicking Ludwig the entire time he was there, trying to push Rosaline and Matthew closer together the entire time they were watching movies. She didn't understand why Francis didn't like Ludwig being around her so much, why he was desperately trying to push her towards dating Matthew.

She was quick to change into her pajamas and climb back into bed, hugging a stuffed bear Matthew had won her from a claw machine at a shop they visited together. Maybe Kiku would know, he was one of the older nations, maybe there was some kind of feud between the two nations.

Laying in bed all Rosaline could do was think back to all of the interactions she had with Francis, the more she thought the more she began to recognize a similar pattern.

The continued hostility towards Ludwig.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves! Here is another chapter for your enjoyment, next will be a special bonus episode before we get on with the (extremely late) holiday specials!
> 
> Christmas is coming up for our favorite characters, what should everyone get for the holidays? Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Also, let me know if you'll be watching Hamilton on July 3rd, I sure will be! 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hasta-la-pasta~!
> 
> -Dais

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked this please like, review and share with others! Hasta La Pasta~!


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